Ask A Guy: What To Do If Your Boyfriend Ignores Your Texts

Hey Joel,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months and so far, everything is great. The only problem is that whenever he’s kind of mad at me, he ignores my texts until I apologize. He has his read receipts on, so I know when he’s ignoring me and when he just hasn’t seen my texts. It’s so annoying! I’ve talked to him about it and he doesn’t seem to understand why it bothers me so much. Any tips on what I should do?

message-me-back

We all make mistakes, and in any real relationships, there are going to be disagreements, arguments and fights. There’s nothing at all wrong with these things when they occur, but how we react to our partners is the “make it or break it” aspect. It sounds like your boyfriend is being very immature, and it’s doing far more harm than it should.

One thing people often fail to discuss or acknowledge is that we all deal with conflict in different ways. Some of us get very angry very fast, some shout, and some avoid conflict at all costs. Part of a successful relationship is learning how to effectively argue or fight with your partner, as this can lead to less conflict and quicker resolution.

In your case, it appears that your boyfriend needs a formal apology before he can move even an inch towards resolution. Whether he’s right or not, apparently he needs that validation of someone else’s fault first. To be honest, this is a rather childish approach, as it’s the equivalent of covering your ears and shouting “I’m not listening” when you don’t get your way. When he is ignoring your texts, it only adds to this immature attitude.

Over time, you’ll likely grow very tired of his behavior, and the fact that you’ve tried to discuss it and he doesn’t change is a pretty big red flag, and if you two can’t figure out a way to effectively resolve your conflicts on equal ground, this is probably going to be a dealbreaker.

Relationships are all about equality, understanding and compromise. In the world of arguing with one another, it’s not always about being right, as standing firm to that need is a quick way to wreck a relationship. It’s really up to you with how much longer you want to deal with his behavior, because in the end, he’s not fighting fair.

Best wishes,

Joel

Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

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