7 Mistakes You’ll Make During Your First College Relationship

Falling in love on campus can be next level exciting, according to just about anyone who has ever been in a relationship in college. Unlike high school, where you’re still living in a childhood realm with childhood barriers, college gives you that first taste of adult freedom. You can set your own schedule, sleep over at someone’s dorm whenever you want, no worrying about your parents’ prying eyes…it sounds ideal, right? It can be, but it’s not perfect. Not by a long shot.

College relationships present complications that you might not expect, and they can cause drama that could make you public enemy number for your roommate. If you want to avoid all the messiness and disappointment, check out these seven mistakes you’ll make during your first college relationship. Hey, you can’t say we didn’t warn you.

Borderline Living At Your Bae's Dorm (Or Vice Versa)

This ends up happening a lot in college relationships, especially during freshman year when you're most likely to live in campus housing. I get it, you're like madly in love with your partner and the fact that you can sleep next to them every night without worrying about a parent bugging you is hard to pass up. But while the novelty might not wear off too quickly for you, it'll get really old really fast for you or your bae's roommate.

I've heard horror story after horror story about people who were stuck with roommates who always had their boyfriends over there to the point where they were basically a third roomie. I was shook when my boyfriend told me that he pretty much moved into his college girlfriend's dorm in freshman year. He claims it was fine, but I bet he never thought to ask of his girlfriend's roommate's take on the whole thing. Please, don't be this person unless you want to be hated. Respect your roommate or your partner's roommate's space; they didn't sign up to share a room with an extra person. You can't let your romance let you get selfish. Set up an arrangement that all involved parties can agree to, but at the very least, alternate between dorm rooms; maybe stay at your place one night and theirs the next.


Assuming Dating College Students Means You're Dating More Mature People

This is especially the case with guys, if you ask me. Sure, maybe they're more mature than a tenth grader, but you might be in for a nasty surprise if you're assuming that all college dudes are significantly more mature than their high school counterparts. The guy you're seeing might seem great at first--wow, he is passionate about his major and knows what he wants to do with his life!--but looks can be deceiving. Someone who is great on paper or might seem super smart could end up being emotionally stunted on the relationship front, and you don't find out until it's too late.

I'm not saying you should avoid dating because you might run into some immature cretins. I'm saying that you have to vet college dudes too. Getting into a school doesn't mean all that much on the maturity front, period. And being a really good student doesn't equal a really good boyfriend.

Animal House

Assuming Long Distance Will Work Out

Long distance relationships don't get easier with age, and they certainly don't get easier just because you and your partner are in college. When you're forced to go back home during winter or summer breaks, your relationship will absolutely be put to the test. You need to make sure you're on the same page with each other on making it work. If you're not sure long distance can work out, be upfront and see if there are still sparks between you two when you're both back next term.

Vivan Girls Vevo

Assuming You Two Are On The Same Page, Future Wise

Remember that moment in Legally Blonde when Elle thought that her boyfriend Warner was proposing, but he was actually breaking up with her? She thought that they were in it to win it, that their college romance would lead to the ultimate commitment. But then he tells her that, in order to secure his future post-Law School, he should be with Jackie, not a Marilyn. In other words, someone serious like Jackie O instead of someone busty and flirtatious like Marilyn Monroe. Ugh.

But this scene was a good lesson in the dangers of assuming that a college romance obviously leads to a bright, happy future together. You might envision your relationship surviving for years and years, even beyond graduation. Your partner, on the other hand, might be content to leave your college relationship in--well--college. Not everyone sees a college relationship as a path to marriage or some other kind of long-term commitment. If you're hoping to make your relationship last and you two have been dating for a while, try to make sure you two are on the same page before you're in too deep.

Legally Blonde

Thinking You Found THE ONE Just Because You're In College

Listen, maybe you did find The One...but there's a big chance you didn't. I'm not saying that to bum you out, I'm saying that to encourage you to have fun and to not put all your eggs in one basket. Do not start setting up your life around this college boo; you're in for a nasty surprise otherwise.

A Different World

Setting Up Your Schedule To Match Your Partner's

You and your college BF/GF/whatever might be inseparable, but your paths in college should remain separate. It's really easy to get so caught up in each other that you try to get into the same classes, the same dorms, set up the same schedules, etc. But you both need your space and you both should pursue your own individual passions, not each others just so you can be close. Just because your boyfriend is taking some philosophy elective, doesn't mean you should try to get into that same class just because you need another humanities elective under your belt, sis.

College is a time of independence, of discovering your passions...it's the time to do your own thing! Don't let romance get in the way of that. You could end up sacrificing a lot of your interests or passions for someone you might not even be with in a year. It's the same reason why I think it's really risky to follow your partner to the same college; you're risking your future on a gamble, and making gambles on love just aren't smart.


Believing That Your Romantic Prospects Are Slim If You Can't Find A Long-Term Relationship In College

Way too many people romanticize the idea of finding The One in college. Listen, some people manage to do that. But let's be real: Most don't. I can only think of one or two couples I know who remain together after graduating college. Most of them are history. Yep, even the ones that managed to last for a year or so after graduation ended. So if you're in a college relationship and it ends, don't assume you missed out on your best opportunity to find a partner. Dating after college is so common and you could definitely find The One outside of a campus environment. Don't sweat it.

Reality Bites

Can you see yourself doing any of these things regardless? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

7 Surprising Benefits Of Not Having Sex In High School

Follow Gurl!

FacebookTwitterTumblrPinterest, and Instagram

Posted in: Health, Sex & Relationships
Tags: , , ,