So, I’ve been talking to this guy who goes to my school for a few months. We both really like each other and a couple days ago he asked me to be his girlfriend. The only problem is that I’m not allowed to date until I’m sixteen, and I just turned fifteen, so that means that I have a whole year to wait until we can officially date. I haven’t asked my parents yet, but they’re really strict so I’m pretty sure they won’t budge. I’m really scared he won’t want to wait for me for a whole year, so I’ve been delaying giving him a straight answer. Is there any way I can get him to wait?
I know this might be a totally annoying answer, but the reality is, if a guy REALLY likes you, waiting won’t be a problem. That is to say, if things are meant to be between the two of you, time shouldn’t be a factor. If he pressures you because he can’t wait, he’s probably just looking for a hookup. However, there are other factors to consider.
The first thing you should do is sit down and talk about it with your parents. Tell them about this guy and see if maybe they’ll bend the rules a bit. You might be able to convince them to meet him, and that might help get them on your side. However, let’s assume they say no – because all is not lost.
One of the best attributes to look for in a guy is how respectful he is of the other people in your life. If right from the start he is going against your parents rules and wants, that’s not a good sign. While you may think their “sixteen to date” rule is unfair, that’s an argument for you to have with them – not this guy. You don’t want to be sneaking around behind their backs – because if you get caught, they’ll never let this guy around you again.
The reality is, you just need to be straightforward with this guy. While I totally understand your hesitancy because you don’t want t3o lose him, in many ways it’s even worse to leave him hanging. If I were you, I’d be honest and tell him that you really do like him, but trying to date him now would cause tons of drama with your parents.
One advantage is that you can take the next year to really get to know each other. You can look at it as sort of dating without dating – a test period of sorts. You’ll have ups and downs in that time, and have a good idea of whether or not you should date for real when the time comes. So it doesn’t have to be a total loss, as there is a compromise if he’s willing to be patient.
Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.
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