7 Surprising Benefits Of Not Having Sex In High School

I never had sex in high school, but I’ve somehow managed to live my life without being a total social pariah. Real talk: Having sex in high school is kind of overrated, which might be surprising considering how often losing your virginity before you start college is a plot in countless high school movies and TV shows. Hell, maybe even friends of yours have been brainwashed into thinking that you need to lose your v-card in high school or else you’ll enter your college years or your twenties as a total weirdo. This disregards the fact that a majority of high schoolers don’t lose their virginity in high school. But, hey, it’s easy to seem like everyone is doing it but you.

I’m not here to discourage you from losing your v-card in high school if you find the right person that you’re comfortable with. But according to most of the women I know who had sex for the first time in high school…it wasn’t much to call home about. In fact, it’s easy for your high school sex life to be a flurry of hiding from your parents, having sex in awkward places, and dealing with people–especially guys–who are immature AF. Losing my virginity later than normal came with struggles, but I’m honestly kind of glad I didn’t have to deal with teen drama on top of it. Check out these seven benefits to not having sex in high school that’ll make you feel a little less weird about not having sex before graduation.

Less Sneaking Around

When you're in high school, you likely live at home. You could still live there after you graduate, but if you go away for college you'll likely have your own dorm or apartment without parental supervision. That means you'll skip all the nonsense that people who hookup in high school have to deal with; namely, hiding your hookups from your parents, siblings, etc. You won't have to resort to having sex in a cramped car, or hiding bae under the bed if your parents come home early, or risk a curious younger sibling walking in on you two as you're--er--doing it. The worst that'll happen is your roommate comes in at the wrong time, and chances are you'll just give them a heads up ahead of time and tell them that you'll be using the room/apartment for an hour or so. Way less stress.

Say Anything

You'll Be More Confident About Your Body

The older you get, the less self-conscious many people become of their bodies, bodily functions, and bodily imperfections. That can be so important when you start having sex! Sure, nobody is 100 percent confident in their body no matter how old they are, but I assure you that you'll care a lot less about your side handles, the way your boobs are shaped, or the fact that your vag isn't hairless when you're a little older. Maybe you just develop an IDGAF hormone or something as you age, but almost any woman can attest to this being true.


More Mature Sex Partners

Okay, I don't want your expectations to be too unrealistic: There are going to be plenty of people in your post-high school life who are not mature romantic or sexual partners, period. But, hey, your chances are definitely higher! Like, definitely. High school guys just aren't that mature, and it's easy to see why: They're still figuring themselves out and they're becoming more in tune with their sexuality, just like you are. They're just frustrating AF about it! But hooking up with people with you're older helps lessen the chances of dealing with someone who has the maturity of a 10th grader. Like, you don't want to hook up with someone who can't comprehend that sex IRL is not like sex in a porno.


You Have More Agency Over Your Sexual Health

It's going to be a lot easier to assume control over your sexual health--in terms of getting a birth control prescription, buying emergency birth control, keeping a stash of condoms in your room--when you're not living under your parents' roof. If you have health insurance through your college (which some schools require), you can access birth control with less concern about talking to your parents about it first. Or, if you go right into the work force after high school, you might have a job that gives you health benefits so you can just cop your own prescription, make your own appointments with a gynecologist, etc. Some people have less understanding parents than others, so this can be such a big lifeline to having a safe sex life without being burdened by guilt or having to have uncomfortable conversations.


A Much Wider Hookup Pool

In high school, your hookup options are pretty limited to people who go to your school. In college, OMG, your options expand a ton. Plus, you'll be old enough to use dating apps, which you can use to find even more people to get to know and get it on with. This is especially helpful if you identify under the LGBTQ umbrella and have a hard time finding people to date or hookup with at your school or in your hometown.


You Have A Better Idea Of What You What

Frankly, the older you get, the longer you know your body. That body of yours has wants and needs, likes and dislikes, and if you spend a longer amount of time doing some solo exploration of those desires, you could be better fit to have a more enjoyable sex life. I mean...you're going to have a way better understanding of what feels good when you're 19-years-old than when you're 15-years-old, period. So don't hesitate to engage in that kind of self-exploration!

The Slums Of Beverly Hills

Less Of A Rumor Mill

I don't know about your high school, but it was so easy for news on who has having sex with each other, who gave so and so a blowjob in the library bathroom, etc, to spread like wildfire. When you're older, this is less likely to happen. Why? Because your hookup pool is larger and won't necessarily be limited to a group of people at your school. And even if they are at your school...you'll be in college. Nobody cares who is having sex with each other in college, honestly.

The Craft

What do you think about having sex for the first time post-high school?  Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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  • Yes. Gurl is absolutely correct on this one! Why bother having sex in high school, when you can do it in your adulthood, where it’s safer, and more logical.