If you are like most people, chances are good that you have spent at least some part of your life thinking about how attractive you may or may not be. I mean, how could you not? Beauty is a standard that gets drilled into most people’s heads (particularly girl people’s heads) from a young age to the point in which most people have no choice in how much of their brain space things like conventional attractiveness and the measures one might take to get there take up.
Anyway. Because conventional beauty is such a capital-T thing, it means that there is a fair amount of parody regarding conventional beauty. And that is what I am all about, baby!!! Breaking down jokes pretty much guarantees that they won’t be funny, so I’m not going to do that. Instead, let’s just look at these posts–courtesy of Tumblr, mostly–on how to tell if you’re actually pretty or not:
1. If boys make you a cake on your birthday, you know you’re pretty:
2. If you have long hair, you’re gorgeous:
3. Let’s not even talk about how pretty you are when you wear your cute new outfit!!!
4. Especially your shorts:
5. You should probably also start a satanic fan club:
6. Unfortunately, you’ll only really be pretty if you have naturally straight hair:
7. Or blonde hair:
8. Or extra-long lashes:
9. You could always join the cheerleading squad, of course:
10. Or, um, do this:
11. And make sure your manicure is always looking nice:
12. And, finally, just eat all of your makeup. It’s the only way!
What do you think of these posts? Do you think they’re accurate? Let us know in the comments!