Sex isn’t always a fun, laid back activity for everyone. This is a tough pill to swallow when you’ve been bombarded with everything from steamy movie scenes to friends’ kiss-and-tell accounts of their sex lives and–aside from some potentially embarrassing moments–they appear to be pretty, well, fun. And yet, here you are, someone who just can’t seem to get comfortable during sex.
It sucks. I know, I’ve been there.
You’ve probably tried everything from intense foreplay to tons of lube, and nothing has helped all that much. It’s easy to feel like there’s nothing you can do. But the last thing you should do is succumb to the idea that sex just isn’t your thing or that you’ll never enjoy sex like the rest of the world seems to. Maybe you should try one of these seven weird things that make sex more relaxing. You never know, maybe one of these suggestions will provide a major key to your sex woes.
Use Weed LubeOkay, let's just start with the weirdest one first, shall we? If lube doesn't work that well for you, maybe you just haven't used the right kind of lube? People have tried cannabis infused lube, which can help relax the vaginal muscles and induce a feeling of overall calm more than, well, your traditional lube. I know, the idea of getting your vagina stoned is really...different, but hey! This product exists, and while we're not necessarily suggesting that you use it...it's out there if you're allowed to give it a whirl! Foria
Get Off Before Getting It OnLet's keep it real: If you have a vagina, it can be super tense. Like, tight AF. Having an orgasm can ease the muscles down there and, well, make you feel good. So masturbating or having your partner get you off before penetration could actually be just the thing to make sex feel a lot better and more comfortable. The To Do List
Take A Lavender BathIf you like to pamper yourself or freshen up before a hookup, then you'll love this: Take a bath and throw in lavender essential oils, dried lavender, or lavender bath salts into the mix. Lavender is notoriously calming, so getting the scent all up in your nostrils and letting it soak into your skin will help out big time. Scary Movie
Turn The Lights OffThis might sound like a no brainer, but truly...you might just feel more at ease if you turn the lights off while doing it. Let's be real: Being uneasy or uncomfortable about your body image can make sex a lot more stressful. While this is something you'll hopefully get over once you find a partner you can eventually be totally comfortable with, there's nothing wrong with turning off the lights if you're feeling particularly on edge. Fresh Meat
Do Some Deep Breathing ExercisesPretend like you're in a yoga class. No, seriously, deep breathing can help calm your entire body and let go of any residual tension, even tension you didn't know you were holding in. I mean, think about it: When's the last time you took a deep breath? Do it now. In...out. See how much better you feel already? Doing a short session of deep breathing--as little as five minutes of it--before a hookup can make you feel so much better. The Craft
Talk It OutOkay, having a pre-sex pep talk might sound like one of the most unsexy things on the planet, but don't assume it's ridiculous. You'd be shocked by how much just talking through what you two will do, what you want to do, what feels good can help you feel more comfortable before having sex. Hey, it could even be a bit of a turn on, and we all know that being all horned up makes sex a lot better. My Mad Fat Diary
Drink Something RelaxingYou might just need to unwind a little bit before doing it. And no, not with alcohol. You don't need alcohol to relax! You'd be surprised by the extent to which herbs like chamomile or vegetables like cucumbers can calm you. Drink some chamomile tea before your hookup, or make some cucumber infused water and drink a big ol' glass of it before meeting up with bae. It's not a cureall, but why not give it a shot? iStock.com
Do you think being more relaxed during sex is more about physical or mental for you? Tell us in the comments!