Maturity isn’t something that you can really witness as it is happening. It’s all in retrospect, little things here and there that make you and the people around you think, “Wow, that was a pretty grown up thing to do.” It’s also important to note that maturity is about more than just being more responsible, and it’s not a matter of how proper or dainty you are either! It’s not about giving up guilty pleasures or not watching cartoons anymore; that’s way too simplistic. It’s about being more sure of yourself, having confidence that isn’t contrived, not worrying about impressing people who don’t matter, and having better judgement. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and maybe, just maybe, being a little less petulant. Growing up happens in baby steps, but for some of us those baby steps happen a little earlier than our peers. That’s fine, but it can get a little annoying when your maturity level starts to exceed the maturity of your group of friends.
Be real with yourself: Have you felt like you’ve sort of outgrown your friends when it comes to their behavior or what they do for fun? Does something just seem off and you suddenly just can’t relate to their sense of humor anymore? Check out these nine signs that you’re more mature than your friends and find out. Your friendship isn’t over, but maybe it’s time to be a little more accepting of the fact that it’s definitely changing.
They LIVE For DramaI mean, on the one hand, who doesn't like a little drama every now and then? It can be juicy, it can be scandalous, it can be entertaining as hell, especially when you're safely outside of the drama zone and get to watch from the sidelines with a bucket of popcorn. That's natural. What's weird--and incredibly immature--is when people in your group of friends seem to actively incite drama for fun. For them, seeing people they care about going through some messy times is a spectator sport, and they'll happily fan the flames for as long as they can. People like this are stuck in middle school and need to grow up sooner rather than later. Heathers
They Never Own Up To Being WrongOne of the biggest--and most underrated--hallmarks of maturity is being able to cop to being wrong about something. It forces you to swallow your pride, accept potential embarrassment, and move on. Immature people have a hard time doing this, and would rather be petulant and passive aggressive AF instead of owning up to maybe not being right all the time. Like...we're human. We're wrong about things all the time, and it's not the end of the world! If your friends can't seem to do this when they're in the wrong, that's a big warning sign. Some Girls
They're Very CliqueyCliques are a normal feature in society. They're not just a high school thing either; they occur in The Real World of Adulthood™ too. But here's the thing: There are cliques, and there are cliques. When your clique is so aggressively separatist that they think it's weird or an act of betrayal for you to venture outside of their sphere every now and then, that's a problem. Not only is it a problem, it's immature AF. Like, has there been a time when you've hung out with someone who wasn't in your clique, and someone from your crew low key gave you s**t about it? Maybe they teased you or they interrogated you. Hell, maybe they were paranoid that you like that person outside of the clique better than the members of the clique. Anyone who is that caught up in the movements of their friends needs to grow up, period. The Craft
You Can Keep A Secret, But They Can'tDon't get me wrong, some people who are otherwise very mature can be bad at keeping a secret. I, admittedly, don't have the best track record when it comes to keeping my mouth completely shut. But there's a difference between having loose lips every now and then, and being reckless about it. If your friends are constantly letting you in on secrets they're meant to be keeping for other people, that's a bad sign. If they seem to have no problem telling a secret to not one but multiple other people, that's a big problem too. It's a major sign that they're not mature enough to be trusted with deeply personal information. Approach with caution, TBH. Grease
They're Total Brats And Either Don't Realize It Or Just Don't CareWhen you look at your friends, sometimes you're shook by how bratty they are. They ask their parents to do everything for them and can't be bothered to be responsible for a damn thing. Like, you're pretty sure they've never had to do their own laundry in their life and would probably turn into a total drama queen if they had to. If you low key wonder how they're going to fair out there in the real world where people won't have as much tolerance for their nonsense...chances are you're more mature than them. Clueless
They Think You're A Bore For Taking Things SeriouslyDo you have a friend who doesn't hesitate to tell you that you're kind of boring whenever you're dedicating your time to something they don't care about? Maybe it's your school work, maybe it's politics, maybe it's your extra-curricular activity or college prep. Whatever it is, they don't hesitate to make you feel like a total killjoy just because you want to dedicate your time and energy to things that aren't so frivolous. Your friend's jabs might stem from insecurity--maybe they wish they had the emotional capacity to take things more seriously-- but that's not your fault. Don't let your friends make you feel bad for not goofing off all the time. That '70s Show
You Give, They Don't Give BackWhether it's a shoulder to cry on, relationship advice, homework help, or a cute lil' birthday present, you're always there for your friends, period. But lately, you've realized that they're not always there for you. Sure, maybe they have their moments, but they're pretty inconsistent. Either your friends aren't insightful enough to acknowledge that this friendship could be seen as a little lopsided, or they just don't really care. Both scenarios are bad, but the former suggests that their intentions aren't bad...they just lack self-awareness. Self-awareness is something you gain more of when you mature, so maybe they're just not on your maturity level quite yet. My Mad Fat Diary
They're Just Super ChildishChildish is a very subjective phrase. Some people think it's childish to still be emotionally invested in Harry Potter, others think it's childish not to want to go out and smoke a joint at a house party. So, yeah, no two people are going to have the same definition of what it means to be childish, including you. But we can all probably agree that an aspect of being childish is in clinging on to the past and having seemingly very little interest in the perks of growing older. It can feel super isolating if you're someone who is excited about getting older while your friends feel like they're content in a perpetual seventh grade. Freaks And Geeks
They Don't Understand The Line Between Taking Healthy Risks And Being RecklessIt's normal to take risks, but you should be as safe about them as possible. It's also normal to not quite know your limitations, especially when it comes to something like, say, drinking. It can take a while to understand what those limits are. But--using drinking as an example--a big part of maturity is acknowledging them and responding accordingly. For example, realizing that drinking five beers in the span of three hours makes you incredibly sick, because your body can't handle it, and then deciding from then on that you can't drink more than five beers in three hours. Well, a less mature friend might realize that they can't drink that much in such a short span of time...but keep doing it anyway, because it's fun or whatever. Uh, naw, guys. Naw. There's a line between taking risks and being reckless, and if your friends repeatedly represent the latter, it's no wonder you feel more mature than them. With that said, it's also important to differentiate between immature drinking behavior and a burgeoning drinking problem. Don't hesitate to keep tabs on friends who might not have a healthy relationship with alcohol or other substances. My So-Called Life
Does any of this sound familiar? What’s the most immature thing your friends do that you just can’t stand? Tell us in the comments!