Hooking up–whether it’s a heavy make out session or straight up sex–is pretty much a way of life for countless teens and young adults. And, hey, if you’re not hooking up now, you will in the future (yes, even if it seems like you’ll never do it). So whether you’re hooking up with a longtime partner, someone you’ve been chatting with online for a while, or a cutie you literally met, like, an hour ago at a party, it’s important that you know this one little nugget of truth: You probably engage in a lot of immature AF behavior when you’re hooking up.
Sorry, it’s true. You might not think it’s immature because, hey, maybe you’re overall a pretty mature person. But don’t assume you’re off the hook because of that. When it comes to romance and sexuality, sometimes little things like maturity (not to mention self-respect and common decency) go out the window. You’ll see what I mean when you check out these seven immature things you need to stop doing during your hookups.
Not Being Vocal When You're Not Feelin' ItI know, people have sensitive egos, but trust me: You're not doing anyone any favors when you're not speaking up about the fact that your partner is treating your clit like a it's a potato that needs to be mashed. Grow up, speak up. Taking control of your sexual pleasure is a tenant of maturity, and when you neglect to do that, you're taking away a lot of your agency. Plus, it's a little immature to think that you shouldn't speak up for yourself. If your partner isn't garbage, chances are they'd appreciate it if you gave them some guidance so they can make you feel good. My Mad Fat Diary
Fretting About Your BodyOkay, listen: Having body images woes is totally normal, and it's not something that just goes away when you're hooking up. So don't take this the wrong way: I'm not saying it's immature to feel insecure about the way you look. It is, however, immature to let that insecurity totally derail your hookup experience. I know you might not believe this, but guess what: Your partner probably isn't bothered by whatever you're concerned about. You're worried that your pubes are out of control? Okay, well, bae over here sees your pubes, and probably doesn't care, because they're still excited to hook up with you. That flab of fat by your hip? Yeah, they probably don't care about that either. Interrupting a perfectly good hook up to ask them if they're okay with your love handles or apologizing for not shaving is absolutely ridiculous. Avoid. Some Girls
Getting Distracted By Your PhoneYes, you just got a text, but you're also in the middle of a hot and heavy make out session. Guess what you shouldn't do? Yes, right, check your phone and get distracted by Instagram and some new Twitter meme and your friend's latest Snap. Listen, as someone who is always distracted by their phone--even when my boyfriend is trying to sneak a kiss--I understand the struggle. But if you're sharing a romantic moment with someone, have a little respect for it. How would you feel if you were trying to get your partner all horned up, only to look up and see them texting their friend? Yeah, avoid. Girls
Documenting Your Hookup For The World To SeeI mean, at the end of the day, you do you, but please...not everyone needs to see footage of you making out with your boo on Snapchat. Nothing wrong with a cute kiss pic on Instagram--nothing wrong with showing off a little love--but video upon video, photo upon photo of you and bae getting hot and heavy? At best, it's annoying. At worst, it makes it seem as if you have your priorities all mixed up when it comes to your relationship. You have to start asking yourself what are you trying to prove, to why, and why? After all, a major part of growing up is not caring so much about how people perceive you. Broad City
Not Being Upfront About ContraceptionThis has happened far too often for far too many people: You're getting hot and heavy with your partner, and bam, they decide it's time to start initiating penetration...without protection. They'll claim that they're pull out kings, that they're free of STDs, etc, but it doesn't matter, especially if you two aren't exclusive. You need to be upfront about contraception from the jump. If you figure intercourse is going to go down, you need to talk to your partner about condoms, be open about your birth control strategy, etc. That's how mature people have sex, not with this wishy washy "oh I'll make sure he grabs a condom in a couple of minutes" nonsense. iStock.com
Doing Things You're Uncomfortable With Just To Say You've Done ThemFor example, if you aren't ready for oral sex, don't just do it anyway so you can say you've done it. Again, you shouldn't have to prove anything to anyone. Your sexual prowess isn't anyone else's business or a place for anyone else to judge. Never do something sexual that you don't feel comfortable doing. Grow up and trust your instincts. Skins
Asking About Past ConquestsThe middle of a make out session is not the time to interrogate your partner about their last girlfriend and wonder how you square up against them. Save it for an awkward conversation before or after you guys get it on, but during? Why get yourself worked up and nervous about how you live up to an old flame?Blue Is The Warmest Color
What other immature things have you experienced during a hookup? Tell us in the comments!