We all know that couple. You know, those two people in your friend group who decided to pair off one night, and then, after that, were inexplicably and illogically…together? This “togetherness” is posed as a question because it is unclear why they are together at all, this couple, other than their proximity and complementary heights and a shared passion for posting corny and mediocre content on their shared social media page, and, of course, the fact that they seem to have been brought together based on their sole intent on ruining your entire damn life. Yeah. That couple.
Now, this couple–whichever one was conjured up in your head right now–is bad. Clearly, these two people have filled you with a rage you cannot fully understand. But, in the end, you probably like them. You knew them as humans first, before you knew their online couple personas, so you probably have a few shreds of IRL contact with which you can remember that they are, in fact, humans, and you do, in fact, like them a little bit.
But, if you think about it, the internet is more or less filled with people who act like the worst couple you know. You know, those”relationship goals” couples on Pinterest and Instagram who attempt to create a relatable, aspirational glimpse into their lives, but more often end up giving off the impression that they are two identity-free ciphers roaming about in the internet ether until they are cut off. It is bizarre and sometimes fascinating but,most importantly, you have no IRL context to humanize them.
So, if you think about them for a long enough time, and really stew in the allegedly aspirational content they have created for you, you will realize that there is only one place for these couples, and this place is prison. (To be clear: Not really. Mass incarceration is a big problem in America! But you get the idea.) So, check out these relationship goals couples who probably need to be put in jail:
1. This couple, for obvious reasons:
2. Um, this couple:
3. These wacky coneheads:
4. These IMPOSSIBLY GOOFY horse lovers!!!!
5. This boyfriend:
6. This girlfriend:
7. This winning duo:
8. Whoever made this meme:
9. The couple that surely joint wrote this advice:
11. These two:
12. This totally real couple:
13. The couple that made this poor, innocent baby pose like this:
14. And, finally…these two:
What do you think of these couples? Would you, too, put them in jail? Let us know in the comments!