6 Ways To Be Less Afraid Of Your Own Vagina

I’m going to be honest with you guys: I’m low key afraid of my own vagina. I mean, I’ve managed to overcome the terrifying horror that are tampons, and I’ve managed to have a penis in my vagina before, but overall? I’m pretty uncomfortable with anything penetrating my vagina, and I really wish I was more chill about it! Can you blame me, though? Vaginas can be weird, confusing, and totally mysterious. Figuring them out can take some time, and it might take years before you feel totally okay with yours.

Luckily, if you’re in the same boat that I am, there are ways to become a little more comfortable down there. Yes, you won’t necessarily be destined to be squicked out by your vagina forever. You just have to actively do things to overcome your discomfort. That’s the only way, but it’s worth it if you give yourself enough time to deal. Check out these six ways to be less afraid of your vagina.

Remember: Your Vagina Isn't Some Black Hole

Nothing is going to get stuck in your vagina, and your cervix doesn't open into a black hole that sucks in everything into your uterus or something. So if you're afraid of your finger or some sort of sex toy or, hell, even a penis getting stuck up there, don't be.

The To-Do List

Think Realistically About What You're Squicked Out About

If you're like me, you're low key grossed out by the feeling of your vaginal muscles. Like, all those grooves and bumps and...blech! I'm getting the creeps just thinking about it. That's what makes me very apprehensive to put a finger up my vagina, and frankly that's a good skill to have whether it's for sexual reasons or basic health (removing and inserting menstrual cups, birth checking birth control devises, etc). One thing that might help you out is if you remember that, as icky as it might feel, it's just muscle. It's your own flesh. Put your finger inside your mouth and feel around there; it feels a little similar in texture to your vaginal walls, right? Think of it that way. The less you're intimidated by the act of putting your finger in your own damn vagina, the less painful and uncomfortable you'll be.

Some Girls

Get Someone Else To Do The Work For You

I mean, hey, if you have a partner who is willing to help you demystify your vagina for you, take advantage of it. Chances are they're a lot less freaked out by it than you are, and they can help you feel a little more comfortable with your bits over time. It's not magic, but it's a potential step in the right direction. You can sort of disassociate if you try hard enough...and that's not necessarily a bad thing in this context!

My Mad Fat Diary

Remember: Your Vagina Is Strong AF

In the battle between your puny finger or some dildo and your vagina, your vagina is always going to win. Your vagina is strong! It can push out a damn baby, okay? Think about that the next time you're too afraid of penetration.

Broad City

Lube, Lube, And More Lube

Lubrication will help the physical insertion a lot, seriously. Don't underestimate it. It might feel a little weird and slimy, but it's a lot better than...dry. It's not a cure-all, but it can help you out.

Sarah Wintner Illustration

Use Tools

A friend of mine who also feels uncomfortable about her vagina was recommended a dilator to use up her vagina. It, well, dilates her vagina vaginal muscles, which makes penetration a lot more comfortable. It's great for those of you who might have vaginismus, which is a condition in which psychological or physical issues makes vaginal penetration damn near impossible. You can also use sex toys if you need, but don't go overboard or expect yourself to have any sort of ease with a dildo immediately dude. This takes time.

Slums of Beverly Hills

Do you feel awkward dealing with your vagina? Are you actually super comfortable with it? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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