7 Signs That Your Crush Isn’t Going To Text You Back

I don’t need to tell you, probably, that texting a crush is something that often feels like the riskiest thing in the world. Even if the texts you’re sending to your crush aren’t particularly salacious, there is always an off chance that you might say something that totally upends whatever quasi-flirtation you had going on via text, and, in return, they simply…don’t respond.

Of course, there is basically only one way to tell if your crush is or isn’t going to text you back, and it is by checking your phone periodically to see if you get a text from them or not. That’s pretty much it. Still, some people are of the annoying habit of falling off the face of the earth for a month or so and, just when you decided to write them off, text you back about how they were at Burning Man or backpacking around Nepal and, by the way, what are you doing tonight? And, technically, there is a difference between the kind of person who never texts you back versus the kind of person who simply waits a few weeks to text you back (though, by my estimation, neither of them are worthy of your time). But how is one to tell? We use some guidelines! So, check out these signs that your crush isn’t going to text you back:


It's Been More Than Three Days

I read a statistic somewhere that said there's a three day benchmark for getting a missing kid returned home safely. (Stay with me here.) Basically, the first three days after a child goes missing are crucial, since most kids are found within that timeframe.  

After those three days are over, however, chances of the child being returned are drastically reduced. The same logic applies, I think, to getting a text back from someone. (To be clear, not getting a text back from your crush isn't the same thing as having your literal child kidnapped. But you get the point, right?) It is very possible that someone might be so busy that they literally cannot text you back -- maybe they're having a rough time at school or work, maybe they're working really hard on a project, maybe they're just bad at texting and never remember to do it in a timely manner -- But, usually, these issues are resolved with 72 hours -- if texting you is a priority for them, you'll hear from them within that timeframe. Otherwise? It's no impossible, but it's not probable, either.

Image source: Daria

They Interact With You On Social Media Without Actually Texting You

This could mean that they watch your Snap story, tag you in an Instagram meme, or like one of your tweets. It's annoying when this happens because, like, if they're expending all this effort on you, why not just text you back, right? Still, if this happens to you, it's not the worst thing -- just double-check the text you sent and ask yourself if you would respond to it. It's possible that they just didn't think that this particular text warranted a response, but still like talking to you. (Though, if you find that this happens a lot, this is kind of a red flag -- it's basically a sign that they want to keep you on their radar, but you aren't a priority for them right now.

Image source: Clueless

You Only Get Texts From Them When They Need Something

Basically, you and your crush have had a purely transactional relationship in the past -- and, when it comes to the transactions, they're the ones who benefited the most. To figure this out, think back to the times they've texted you. Do they only text you when they want to hook up or to ask for help on a homework assignment, and basically shrug off any attempts you've made at having a real conversation? If so, they might have been using you, and, unfortunately, decided that they've gotten all that they can out of you.  The good news? This isn't someone you need to bother yourself with, anyway. They're slimy! Move on and find someone else.

Image source: Gilmore Girls

They Usually Respond Quickly...But Not Today

Like, you know they're always glued to their phone, and, usually, they respond within a few minutes. But, uh, not today. This isn't anything you need to freak out over (there are a lot of reasons why someone might not text you back right away), but if their response time suddenly drops off for no apparent reason, this could be a sign that they aren't going to text back at all.

Image source: The Hills

Texts Have Been Fading For A While

Sometimes, people do a slow fade-type thing in which they shorten their responses and stretch out the amount of time between them so that, when they eventually stop texting altogether, it's not as much of a surprise. Does this make things easier when it happens? Not necessarily, but you can usually spot it coming.

Image source: Suite Life On Deck

You Know They've Texted Someone Else

It's always possible that your crush doesn't have their phone on them, or that they aren't responding to anyone's texts right now. The best way to figure it out? Find out if they're texting other people. I don't recommend actively employing your friends to text your crush on your behalf to see if they get a response, since this can get really messy really fast. But, if you happen to see that they've texted someone around you, this could mean that they aren't going to text you back.

Image source: Lizzie McGuire

You Know What The Deal Is In Your Gut 

Sometimes, you just know. Maybe they were weird the last time you hung out, or you feel like you've seen them flirting with someone else at school, or the texts you've been getting from them lately don't seem particularly receptive to your needs. Feel it in your gut that they aren't going to text back? Trust it and do your best to get over them. This way, the literal worst thing that can happen is that they live up to your expectations and neglect to text you back -- and, as far as worst case scenarios go, this one really isn't terrible at all.

Image source: 13 Going On 30

Do you agree with these signs? Did I miss any good ones? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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