Like most people (I assume), I grew up watching Disney movies. And, also like most people (I also assume), I loved them a whole lot. I’d watch each one of them over and over and over again, from The Little Mermaid to Beauty And The Beast to Anastasia (which, yes, technically isn’t really a Disney movie, but, for all intents and purposes, basically is), thinking that maybe, if I watched each one of them enough, I would wake up one day and actually be within a Disney movie as an actual princess, or, perhaps, a hilarious sidekick, like Flounder or Lumière. (I wasn’t picky about my placement, is what I am trying to say.)
And yet, somehow, despite these repeated viewings, I ended missing out on some, um, important subtext that many Disney movies contain. Which is probably for the best, because, at the time, I was nowhere near old enough to pick up on it — most Disney movies (ones that you definitely watched at some point in your tender, precious youth) have a lot of super dirty, inappropriate things going on in them, with varying degrees of subtlety. It was probably too inappropriate for you when you were little! But now, of course, you are old enough to know the truth. So, check out these things that prove how dirty the Disney movies you loved so much as a kid actually are:
1. Take, for example, this incredibly rude shot of Jaq and Gus in Cinderella:
2. This haunting image on the poster for The Lion King that, once you notice it, you can’t really unsee:
3. This truly earth-shattering revelation from Finding Nemo:
4. And this narrowly-evaded curse word, also from Finding Nemo:
5. You know what they say about guys whose foot size you don’t know–you think he’s in love with you, but really, he’s just plotting to usurp the throne from you:
6. This realization that, yes–sex toys probably did come alive in Toy Story, too:
7. This suspiciously phallic-looking lump that sprouts up on the River Guardian’s head after Hercules punches him:
8. And this reference to Oedipus Rex, also in Hercules, that you probably won’t get until you take a high school English class and have to read the play:
(Oedipus Rex, by the way, is a Greek tragedy about a guy who unwittingly murders his dad and marries his mom. So.)
9. This implication from the Genie in Aladdin that some really good sex is happening somewhere around him:
10. Why did they make Nala like this???
11. Then, of course, there is this important reminder that “Woody” really just means “erect penis:”
12. And this introduction of the euphemism “get busy” in The Incredibles (it’s sex, by the way. They had sex):
13. This one brief moment in Ratatouille in which it appears Linguini might very well be talking about his own penis:
14. This moment in The Lion King in which the dust in the air appears to be spelling out the word “sex:”
(For what it’s worth, most people think now that a special effects team for the movie put the letters “SFX” into the dust. But it does look like it says “sex,” right?)
15. Basically, there are lessons in every Disney movie. But are they appropriate for kids? That’s up to you to decide!
What do you think of these posts? Were any of them particularly shocking to you? Let us know in the comments!