Last night, while I was half-watching some bad reality TV and scrolling through Twitter–as I am known to do–when I came across a tweet that just might have changed my life. It was a screenshot of an Instagram account of a man named Sindhu, who runs a food store in London called Bathu Food and Wine. But my description won’t do him justice–you have to see the real thing:
this random guy who runs a convenience store followed me on instagram and he is so pure pic.twitter.com/sPF0BJqAxZ
— nicholas teeny @ AX (@TwoZeroSixGod) June 1, 2017
Did you read the caption? Please read the caption. If, for whatever reason, you can’t read it, it says:
“Happy Wednesday everyone, enjoy yourselves, grab some beer, I don’t drink alcohol and I think it is very bad for people especially most of my customers that walk in and look very ill and buy it in the mornings, those people have serious problems and will probably die soon. But you should enjoy maybe one beer, I’m not sure, but anyway it can’t be that bad to just have one beer, I see some people are fine and drink alcohol occasionally and it seems fine. Yes maybe just have a single can of beer today or another day, it doesn’t matter which day but it should probably be only for one day or maybe 2 days per week. Sindhu”
I cannot fully explain why, but looking through Sindhu’s Instagram account makes my heart hurt in a very particular kind of way, like it is being squeezed and released by a gentle giant who has very strong hands. This is partially because I suspect that the whole thing might be an elaborate performance art piece (working on the internet has made me skeptical of all things that initially appear to be good and pure, and, besides, the entire account was only started a month ago) but partially because the whole account, if it is real, serves as proof that Sindhu is the only good person left on the planet.
For example, he wears flowers on his shirt because his heart is full of joy:
He ate expired food to make sure that he’s selling his customers quality products:
This ended up making him so sick that he had to cure his upset stomach not with medicine, but with this inspired combination of food:
Hello everyone, this weekend I ate some very old food because I wanted to test one of my products, a stomach settling salt. It did not work for me, I have been very sick and have not put any pictures on my Instagram website. Here is the sindhu selection that has made me feel better, southern fried chicken with cookies dipped in horse reddish, it is a little bit spicy but I believe that is very good for you, this combination worked better than the stomach salts. Please be careful about testing products, please ask me to test them before you buy. Thank you, sindhu
And, when Sindhu realized that he had a platform, he used better than anyone else would have, probably:
Hello everyone I do not understand why I have a lot more friends on my Instagram website today but thank you and have a wonderful Friday, today's Sin-don't is don't forget to check for change before you buy something from the shop because there is a 40p charge when you pay using your card under £5, also change can be given to the homeless or maybe you should put it in a fountain and make a wish it's is your decision. Thank you, happy Friday everyone, and also I am sorry I cannot reply to everyone's message I am very busy at the shop and have much work to do, have a wonderful day, sindhu, I will try to reply to everyone but there are much more messages from my friends now thank you
Anyway, people are really into him:
he's a national treasure. someone protect him pls
— mary ?️? (@marymeridd) June 2, 2017
We need more people in this world like Sindhu
— Jas (@__jasmiinnn) June 2, 2017
Sindhu is what this world needs https://t.co/OIe7np2UIF
— Danimal /Armcannon (@armcannon) June 2, 2017
sindhuworld U DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST! BATHU FOOD AND WINE ALWAYS
— sheikh zayn ? (@sovereignxty) June 2, 2017
Sindhu’s Instagram ratio now reflects this sudden outpouring of love–today, his account gained at least ten thousand followers. I do not think I will be following Sindhu myself today, as I do not wish to see when he starts posting sponsored posts and shilling branded “SindhuWorld” t-shirts in the vein of Ken Bone (which, to be fair, is his right to do), nor do I wish to see the moment when, as with almost all things related to internet culture, the duck is found to be racist.
The whole internet loves Milkshake Duck, a lovely duck that drinks milkshakes! *5 seconds later* We regret to inform you the duck is racist
— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) June 12, 2016
No, I will just remember Sindhu the way I imagine him to be right now–pure, wholesome, a proponent of disastrous food combinations that should not ever be consumed by any human on this earth, and, of course, forever unfettered by the darkness of the world around him.
What do you think about this Instagram account? How does it make you feel? Let us know in the comments!