There are a few things I will never understand in life. They include how to achieve “perfect” bedhead hair, why they change the names of countries in different languages, how to actually make a fish face selfie look sexy, and how the hottest sex acts can often result in the most cringe-worthy moments.
When it comes to the last one, you will know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever had an embarrassing moment when giving a handjob, when you were right in the middle of doing butt stuff, or from when you were mid-kiss with a hottie. They’re the sort of moments that go from sky-high to soul-crushing in seconds thanks to misplaced fingers, random hairs, and unpredictable noises. Oh, the noises.
You might think that your boobs are safe because they don’t have orifices and random fluids, but they can result in some equally cringe-worthy moments.
Unfortunately I don’t think anyone is ever going to invent something that would somehow alleviate us of embarrassing moments, so we’re all going to have to get ready to face them eventually. Here are 16 embarrassing things that can happen when you’re doing boob stuff with bae.
1. You get slapped in the face by your own boob.
WTF. How did that happen?! My boobs aren’t even that big.
2. You notice a random hair on your nipple.
Just one. And it’s a thick, black one, too.
3. Your boobs painfully slap together and you need to stop to massage them.
Oh, the pain! Is this what it feels like when guys squeeze their balls too hard?
4. One nipple gets hard and the other one doesn’t.
It. Just. Won’t.
5. You poke bae in the eye with a nipple.
OMG. Can I just run out the back door right now?
6. You scream a little too loud when bae sucks on your boob.
Yup, whoever is downstairs definitely heard that. How was I to know that nipples could be so sensitive?
7. Your boobs flop to the side and stay there when you’re laying on your back.
Girls, do you have any idea how ridiculous this probably looks?
8. You realize that boob sweat can be as intense as pit sweat.
Pass the sheet, I need to wipe these babies down.
9. And bae gets slapped in the face with a boob.
Gosh, I hope that does not leave a mark. Imagine having to explain that.
10. A fingernail cuts your nipple.
Pain! Someone call a medic. This is worse than a paper cut.
11. You realize too late that your bra has left little balls of fabric all over your boobs.
12. You flinch at the touch of bae’s cold hands on your boobs and you kick him/her.
Whoops, but you should have warmed your hands up.
13. The attempts for bae to stick his peen between your boobs result in all the body parts getting injured.
Why did I think that this was going to be hot?
14. The surprise of bae’s hot lips on your cold boobs makes you fart.
BRB, going to hide under the bed.
15. Your stomach growls uncontrollably whenever bae gets close.
I’m not even hungry. I swear.
16. You literally fall off the bed.
My pride is gone.
What embarrassing things have happened to you while doing boob stuff? Let us know in the comments!
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