15 Things That Show Why You Should Never Have A Boyfriend

I think we can all agree that, at this point, misandry–which is defined as the dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men, and has become somewhat of a crutch for white feminism on the internet–is boring and reductive. But sometimes, it just has to be said that boys suck. Not all the time, obviously, and not all boys (#notallboys, #notallmen, etc.), technically, but let’s look at the evidence. They suck when they text you, most of the time. They also suck when they don’t text you. They especially suck when they realize that not every single thing on this earth needs to be designed to include them.

Still, if you end up liking someone who happens to be a boy, it is easy to forget that boys are, indeed, objectively terrible. In that case, what’s a girl to do? Just, uh, do your homework. So, check out these ironclad pieces of evidence that prove why you should never, ever have a boyfriend:

1. This boyfriend who is, um, literally abusive:abusive-bf

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If you aren’t sure if he’s going to hit you or kiss you, THAT IS ABUSE.

 

2.  The boy who wrote this:

jealous-BF

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This is also abusive, BTW.

 

3. And the boy who wrote this:

a-man-wrote-this

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(A boy wrote this. Trust me.)

 

4. And, of course, the boy who wrote this:

real-boyfriend

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And appears to be confused about what makes someone a “real” boyfriend.

 

5. Any boy who thinks that “touching sexually” is an actual viable plan for turning a girl on:

touching-sexually

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What does it mean???

 

6. This INCREDIBLY RUDE husband:

satan-period-husband

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Ugh.

 

7. And this boyfriend who physically cannot bring himself to say the word “period:”

niagara

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If he isn’t mature enough to acknowledge your (totally normal) bodily functions, he is NOT THE ONE FOR YOU.

 

8. The boy who is promoting this TRULY DEPRAVED action:

relationship-goals-whisper

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CALLING instead of TEXTING??? No!!!!!!!

 

9. And Cole here, who clearly…does not get the point:

relationship-goals-text

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No, Cole!!!!

 

10. This corny-ass guy:

corny-relationship-goal

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Is it the worst offense? No. Is it corny as all hell? It sure is!

 

11. This literal nightmare of a text:

nightmare-text

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You should only read novels if they’re by a published author, to be quite honest.

 

12. This one, too:

boyfriend-text

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No.

 

13.  This boy who thinks he’s being really smooth:

relationship-goals

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He…is not. Being smooth, that is.

 

14. This boy who…might think that he’s dating his cousin?

bf-text

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I do not like this, regardless!

 

15. And, finally, this boyfriend who does not seem to understand the concept of “personal space:”

bf-bathroom

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Lots to unpack here!

 

 

What do you think of these posts? Do you agree that they mean you should never have a boyfriend? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

16 Relationship Goals That Will Actually Make You Say Me

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  • Bella

    Oh please, not all but some of these are sweet.

  • Kim McCord

    #12 and #14 are questionable but the rest is 15 reasons why you should have a boyfriend

  • Nayo

    #15 was so sweet. wtf is wrong with yall
    #8 calling someone is way better then texting. U can actually here there voice.
    #6 was funny

  • creativecubez

    6 is actually kinda funny to me lmao

  • Denver Mills

    You are so right! Why even bother with the hassle of having a clumsy boyfriend when it’s really all about the sex? You go girl!