Ask A Guy: Why Do Guys Ghost You And Then Randomly Start Talking To You Again?

Hey Joel,

So there is this guy who totally ghosted me. I was really humiliated and angry and planned on never speaking to him again, but about two months after he ghosted, he started texting me again and acting like nothing happened. Why do you think he is doing this? Should I talk to him again?


Not to simplify things too much, but if this guy humiliated you and made you angry, why in the universe would you even consider talking to him again for even a second? Regardless of whether or not he ghosted you, if someone is that unkind to you, they don’t deserve a second chance.

There are few things more disrespectful that ghosting someone, as even if you don’t want to see a person or talk to them anymore, everyone deserves to have that said to their face. Not in a mean way, but when you just disappear, it leaves so many questions unanswered, and shows a complete lack of consideration for the feelings of others.

I’ve discussed before why people ghost, and the short reminder is that many people are self-centered jerks. This guy sounds like a prime example, and you should feel lucky you saw his true colors. Taking that a step further, any guy who ghosts someone they were friends with, regardless of gender, is NOT the type of guy you want to hang out with, let alone date.

If you’re wondering why he’s doing it, given the fact that he’s already shown himself to be shady, the answer is likely that he’s trying to get some. Whether it’s physical action or just some steamy snaps, I can’t think he has anything resembling good intentions.

It’s concerning that you’re even considering talking to him again, as he’s already treated you so poorly. Ask yourself exactly why it is you want to give this guy the time of day, let alone a second chance. You deserve friends and boyfriends that respect you and care about your feelings – this guy clearly does neither.

You owe this guy nothing, so don’t even bother giving reasons why you don’t want to talk to him again. Cut him loose, move on, and find some quality people to surround yourself with.

Best wishes,


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at!

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