7 Big Lies That Porn Tells You About Blow Jobs

Here at Gurl, we’ve written plenty of posts about porn. While some posts encourage you to watch porn guilt free, and others delve into why the porn industry is trash, there’s one constant that rings true no matter what side of the porn debate we’re on: Porn should never be used as a guide to how you’re supposed to behave or look like in bed. Porn is entertainment, and whether it’s professionally filmed or amateur, it’s performative AF. This isn’t to say that you can’t watch porn and be inspired to try new things; mimicry isn’t necessarily bad. But watching porn and thinking that the images you see adhere to some standard that you should also adhere to? No, absolutely not.

And yet, this is so much easier said than done, especially if you stumble upon porn when you’re a young teenager and just want to know what sex looks like. Why shouldn’t some curious 13-year-old girl assume that she’s supposed to be moany and have no pubic hair? But you’ve got to resist. This is especially true when it comes to blow jobs. Think about it: Blow jobs are pretty common among tees and young adults, a lot more common than intercourse. It’s also safe to say that most of the porn out there in the big ol’ universe o’ porn features a blowjob, and God, any hetero-AF blowjob featured in porn sticks to a pretty familiar script. That script, however, isn’t one that you should feel pressured to follow, and your partner shouldn’t expect it either. Check out these seven lies that porn tells you about blow jobs. Hopefully, your next blow job experience will be a little less stressful if you keep this in mind.


A Good Blow Job Requires You To Be Able To Deepthroat Your Partner

Some people are naturally better at deep throating than others due to a weak gag reflex. Others just practice until they get good at it. But you shouldn't feel any pressure to be the deep throat queen of the universe just because every porn star manages to do it with ease. Go ahead and try if you want--yes, it'll be awkward, especially if you gag, especially if you literally puke a little bit--but the average person with a penis is not going to judge your blow job skills by whether or not you can deep throat. I'm sure the average one will agree that it doesn't hurt, but it's not a necessity. Don't go around making yourself gag like crazy just to fill a quota that nobody is all that pressed about.

Jawbreaker

It's Normal For Your Partner To Ejaculate All Over Your Face

I think it's safe to say that if we used porn as a template for sexual activity, we would assume that ejaculating on someone's face is the way a blow job is supposed to end. Heads up: Don't fall for that BS. If you are totally cool with your partner finishing on your face, you do you. But if you're not, or you've had bad experiences in the past (you're not the only one to get spunk in your eye or hair), be upfront about it. It's just as bad for your partner to assume that that's just the way it goes without seeing if you're cool with it first so communication is key. And if bae can't handle the fact that you don't want to wipe ejaculation from your face every time you put their penis in your mouth, they need to grow the eff up...and probably stop watching so much porn.

April Showers

If Your Partner Grabs Your Head During A Blow Job, He's Just Passionate!

Okay, maybe this is just me but when I see pornos in which dudes are aggressively grabbing a woman's head while she's giving him a blow job, I feel like DYING. If you're actually into that and want your partner to do that, hey, more power to you. But if your partner ends up doing that to you and you're not feeling it? Please, be vocal about your displeasure. Your partner might also get cues from a lot of porn and assume you're cool with it.

Some Girls

A Good Girlfriend Always Delivers A Blow Job

There's a great Sex and the City scene in which Samantha goes on a tirade about how much work goes into a blow job, something that a lot of cis-gender men take for granted. "They don't call it a job for nothing!" she says. Um, she's right. It takes effort, and sometimes you don't want to bother. Just because so many porn videos start with a blow job, doesn't mean that you have to start every hookup with one IRL. You aren't required to give your partner a blow job, and you're not a bad girlfriend if you don't want to do it all the time. Yes, even if your partner asks you to (or whines about you not giving him one), you're not a bad person for it.

Sex and the City

The More Spitting And Slobbering, The Better

If you took your cues from porn, you'd assume that folks love to have a girl either slobbering or literally spitting all over their penis. But in reality, this is something that you should probably ask your partner about. It sounds weird, but just ask your partner if they're into a lot of spit. If they are, they'll tell you (especially if they're already turned on and their inhibitions are out the window). If not, a good partner will likely let you know. But please, obviously blow jobs involve a fair amount of spit and awkward slobbery moments by default, but assuming that bae loves nothing more than you hocking up a fat loogie all over their penis? LOL, avoid.

Clueless

It's Sexy To Maintain Eye Contact The Whole Time

You can give a good blow job without having to give your sexy sexy partner sexy sexy eye contact. Your bae isn't a video camera, okay? Like, don't go on straining your neck and all just to look hot for your bae. They might not even be paying attention to all of that.

Skins

Spitting Is Better Than Swallowing Or Vice Versa

When it comes to spit versus swallow, you do you. For added visual sexiness, a lot of pornos like to show girls spitting out ejaculate because it's meant to be hot, but if you'd rather not do that, that's okay. Whether you prefer to spit or swallow has nothing to do with your personality or your sexual prowess or anything. It's literally...just a preference...do you.

The To Do List

What other annoying ways does porn depict blow jobs? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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