Most of us can agree that a cheating partner is bad, right? Having a girlfriend who cheats is bad. Having a boyfriend who cheats is bad. But is anyone else a little tired of cheating being the primary qualifier for whether or not someone is worthy of being dumped? There are so many signs that your partner is no good, and they’re either passed off as harmless, well-meaning, or okay because “at least they aren’t cheating.”
We need a higher bar, seriously.
Unfortunately, it seems like the bar is particularly low when it comes to girls dealing with frustrating boyfriends. For example, overbearing behaviors that would make a girlfriend an “annoying bitch”–such as bombarding someone with texts demanding their partner’s location and information on who they’re with–simply make a boyfriend “protective” in the eyes of far too many people. Don’t get it twisted–this behavior (and some other things) means that they’re trash. While some trash is recyclable, eligible for a new lease on life (or, rather, your relationship), many more belong in the landfill. Don’t hold on to a decomposing trash heap of a boyfriend, okay?
He Uses Your Relationship As An Excuse Not To Hurt HImselfFar too many times I've heard stories of men who threaten to hurt themselves (or even others) if their girlfriends break up with them. This is abuse, pure and simple. It's manipulative BS that is meant to guilt you into feeling culpable for his own bad decisions. It's a way to control you so you never leave. Teen boys do this. Grown men do this. No matter who does it, your boyfriend is trash for it. Be safe, don't fall for it. Heathers
He Straight Up Acts Like He Owns Your BodyOkay, maybe he's not literally writing his name all over it, but he might as well. If he's not making a fuss over what you wear, he's saying rude things about your body, sometimes under the guise of just "helping." Yeah, telling your girlfriend she could do some squats so she can look like an Instagram baddie isn't helpful. Some Girls
He Pretends You're Invisible When He's Around His FriendsOne of the biggest red flags that your boyfriend is trash is when he treats you special in private, but totally acts like you're of no consequence to him in public. He'll send you all sorts of cute texts, but he pretends you don't exist whenever you pass each other in the hallway. Never humor someone who is embarrassed to be seen with you in public, and never agree to be their girlfriend. They're trash, and just because they're sweet half the time doesn't negate that fact. My So-Called Life
He Always Clowns Things You're Passionate AboutWhether it's feminism or Drake, your boyfriend is always--and I mean always--clowning you about things you care about. It might come across as harmless jokes a first, but if it feels considerably less jokey and more nasty, that's a bad sign. People truly can mask some nasty personality traits by wrapping it up in a "I'm just playing around" package. But the things you care about don't deserve to always be the butt of a joke. That's just rude. Clueless
He Is A Chronic 'Well, Actually"-erSome people are natural know-it-alls. Hell, you might be one of them. But it's so annoying to date one who has absolutely no chill about making every little thing you say, do, or think into a "well, actually" moment. Dudes feel particularly inclined to do this, because they've been socialized to believe that they're inherently more intelligent, more reasonable, and less emotional than women are. While a BF who does this a lot might just lack self-awareness, don't hesitate to call him out on it. If he doesn't see anything wrong with constantly coming across as condescending, that's a big problem...a problem you shouldn't have to put up with. Submarine
He's Weird About Your Social LifeA few days ago on Twitter, I saw some screenshots from an alleged conversation between a guy and his girlfriend. The girlfriend straight up texted the boyfriend and asked if it was okay for her to say "thank you" in response to a man who said "bless you" after she sneezed. After some consideration (literally, asking what the man looked like), the boyfriend decided it wasn't okay for her to thank him. Now, I really hope that that was somehow fake, or a really bad joke, but I'm skeptical because there are so many real instances of boyfriends being disgustingly concerned about their girlfriend's social lives. Girlfriend wants to go to a party? Has to check with bae first. Girlfriend hasn't texted for a few hours? Accused by boyfriend of cheating on him. Even if the boyfriend isn't being direct about where his girlfriend can go, or who she can talk to, there are ways for him to be controlling that look less aggressive. Maybe your boyfriend will act all sad and lonely when you decide to go out with your friends, effectively guilt tripping you out of your plans. Or maybe they'll casually mention how much they dislike a male friend of yours, so much so that you subconsciously end up staying away from him. That's some manipulative BS that you shouldn't be subjected to by somebody who claims to care about you. Period. That '70s Show
He Prefers Being Passive Aggressive Over Being DirectWe all have our passive aggressive moments, but when it overwhelms a relationship, that's a big red flag. If your boyfriend has a tendency to do this--being noticeably angry around you without telling you why, acting distant and oddly cryptic even when you ask what's wrong--you need to have a serious conversation. In some cases, he might not realize just how bad his passive aggressiveness is. But if he doesn't seem invested in being more open...bye! Pretty In Pink
He's A Lot More Interested In His Sexual Needs Than YoursHe's begging for you to perform oral on him, but when you ask for some in return, he's full of excuses. He'll make sure that he gets off when you two are having sex, and isn't really all that pressed as to whether or not you have an orgasm or not. He claims to care, but doesn't really do anything to back that claim up. If this sounds familiar, your man is trash. Either have a real conversation with him about how unfulfilled you feel in bed or let him go so he can make someone else disappointed. Don't take one for the team. Fresh Meat
Does your BF do any of these things? And ex? What other trash signs should be on this list? Tell us in the comments!