7 Funky Things Your Vagina Does That You Won’t Learn In School

You probably know more about the quadratic equation than your own vagina.

You know more about the periodic table, more about World War II, more about Harry Styles’ third nipple than you do about your vagina. This isn’t your fault. Unless you’re lucky enough to read an in depth, accessible book (or informative websites like Gurl) about the body, you won’t really know much about your vagina. During sex ed or puberty units at school, the most you really learn about the vagina is that a penis can enter it, and babies and menstrual blood exit it. That’s… pretty much it.

Not only is this frustrating, it’s also low key dangerous and puts people with vaginas at a huge disadvantage. I’ve talked to young women who thought something was wrong with them because they had no idea that something as common as vaginal discharge is normal. Yikes. If you can relate, don’t worry. Your vagina is actually a lot more interesting than you thought and it’s never too late to learn about its many wonders. Check out these seven funky things the vagina does that you won’t learn in school.


It Can Get Swole

Yes, your vagina really does lift. When you do pelvic floor exercises--which includes a whole lot of rhythmic squeezing down there--you strengthen your pelvic wall, which can do everything from improve your orgasms to prevent bladder problems. Also, they're just kind of...fun. Give them a try!

It Can Trap A Penis

Peens beware! It's rare, but entirely possible for a vagina to keep a penis in a vice-lock. It's a phenomenon called--wait for it: penis captivus. It's very difficult to remove the penis from the vagina's grip when this happens, so you might have to make an awkward 911 call. But as I said, this is rare.

It Can Talk To You (Kind Of)

You know the phrase "the nose knows?" Well, the vagina, er, knows too. Basically, the vagina tells you a lot about the state of your bodily health. The texture of your vaginal discharge can determine your chances of pregnancy at the time, discharge that smells or is an odd color can be a way of letting you know that you have an STD, an infection, or even cancer. Even what it doesn't say matters. By that I mean, if you suddenly stop getting your period, this could indicate anything from stressors you didn't know you're experiencing or malnutrition. So when your vag is talking, listen to it...not just when you queef.

It Cleans Itself

You don't need body wash or whatever weird apple cider vinegar douche that you found on Pinterest to clean your vagina. Why? Because it cleans its own damn self. That's what your vaginal discharge is doing. Is it annoying AF? Yes, it can be. But it's better to have annoying, healthy discharge than a vagina that can't regulate itself.

It Can Have Multiple Types Of Orgasms

Okay, this isn't vagina specific but the vagina is included in this cool fact. Did you know that people with vaginas can have four types of orgasms? Uh, you're definitely not learning that in health class. You can have a clitoral orgasm, which is very common as most people with vaginas can only orgasm with clitoral stimulation. There's also vaginal orgasms, which happen via vaginal penetration alone; most people can't orgasm this way, but hey, power to those who can. Then there's blended orgasms, in which both clitoral stimulation and vaginal penetration achieve an orgasm. Lastly, there's multiple orgasm, in which one has an orgasm more than once in somewhat quick succession. Needless to say, there aren't as many ways for folks with penises to have an orgasm. Sucks for them.

It Can Shrink Back To Normal Size Even After A Baby Shoots Out Of It

I remember overhearing a group of young women I knew saying that when they get pregnant, they plan to have C-sections so that their vaginas won't get effed up. Uh, heads up: your vagina doesn't have the diameter of a bowling ball after you give birth. In fact, it's pretty damn good at shrinking back to its normal size after a baby passes through it. So the idea that your vagina is ruined after sex is largely BS.

It Can Double In Size When Its Turned On

Your body does all kinds of things when you're horned up: Your heart beat quickens, your skin flushes, and...your vagina doubles in size. Basically, when you're turned on, the extra blood flow around the vagina engorge, dilating the vagina. The more turned on, the bigger the vagina gets. This is likely meant to make penetration easier before getting it on.

Do you have any cool vagina facts to share? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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