Let’s have a real talk today. I want to talk to you guys about the “I’m not like other girls” phrase that is thrown around so often. I’m sure you’ve heard it, you’ve probably seen it on Tumblr, maybe you’ve even said it before yourself. You know, the phrase a girl throws out when she wants to seem “chill” and “cool” and just like one of the guys – not like a girl, because, for some reason, being a female is seen as a negative thing. Maybe you’ve seen posts like this:
To some, this meme might mean that a “girl” is someone who cares about her appearance and is maybe a little more high maintenance. Other, uh, girls who are not actually girls, are more relaxed and casual. To me, it means this: one girl is thinking that she is better than another girl because she doesn’t wear makeup or heels. Unfortunately, this is said a lot, especially on the internet.
The problem with the “other girls” sentiment is the fact that, when you say it, you are alienating these girls for wanting, wearing, and acting the way they want. You are tearing other women down for feminine behavior, or anything stereotypically feminine, something that is already done enough in society and needs to stop. Women and girls are already penalized for having wants and needs, so why would you, as a woman, criticize that even more, and even take a step further to say that you are better than that? It really comes down to internalized misogyny: girls are taught their entire lives that they have to do everything and anything in order to please or impress a guy, even if that means making other girls seem stupid or “beneath them.”
What other girls want from their Boyfriends VS what I want ???? pic.twitter.com/WF5Wbio9y7
— EvelynMonique ??? (@evelynsmith1899) September 9, 2016
If girls are constantly insisting that they are “not like other girls,” they are trying to prove to guys that they are worth their time, and that the other girls simple aren’t, because who wants to date someone who is traditionally feminine? Let’s talk about this for a minute. You should never have to prove to a dude that you are above other girls for simply liking different things (TBH, both girls are probably too good for the guy if he wants a “different” kind of girl, but whatever). It shouldn’t be a, “I will make myself look better because of how different I am than the others” type of thing. As I sit here writing this post, I am listening to “Some Girls” by Hailee Steinfeld. If you’re not familiar, check it out here. I want to bring your attention to these lyrics:
The lyrics then go on to say “I wanna be like, I wanna be like most girls.“ Excuse me, but SHOUT OUT to Hailee Steinfeld for bringing this to our attention, specifically to girls who want to be “better” than other girls. You should want to be like other girls, because girls are awesome, even if they’re doing things you wouldn’t do. You shouldn’t want to be better than other girls, because all that does is pit us against each other! I know it’s cliche, but living as a girl is hard enough. We don’t need to be making things harder by tearing each other down for no real reason. As Hailee says in her song, some girls like to keep their bodies private, and others like to wear more revealing clothes. Both of these things are okay, and it shouldn’t be a “you have to be one or the other” type of thing.
If you find yourself saying you’re not like most girls, take a step back for a second and think about what you are saying: what about other girls makes you feel better than them? Is it because they like different things? That’s cool, we all like different things! That’s what’s so cool about being a human being, am I right? Specifically, being a girl. We should be able to like whatever we want and not be criticized for it.
Girls are complex and complicated. We don’t fit into one category. We can do whatever the eff we want, and we should never be judged for that, especially by fellow girls. We should want to be like other girls since we are all super STRONG. As Hailee says, “most girls fight to make every day/ no two are the same.” Oh, and just because you want to be like most girls, it doesn’t mean that you are a carbon copy of someone else. When I say you should be like most girls, I mean you should do what you need to do in order to feel comfortable and happy in your own skin. It’s the most important thing ever, IMO.
What do you think about this? Tell us in the comments!