17 Terrible Things You’ll Only Understand If You’ve Ever Talked To A Boy Online

When was the last time you had to block someone on the internet? If you’re a girl, or identify as one, chances are good that it was fairly recent. I recently had to block someone I knew vaguely in elementary school on Facebook because, for whatever reason, he spent two years sending me messages in which he asked me what I had been up to since sixth grade (fine), offered to find me a husband (weird), asked me to move in with him (very weird), and, finally, became very upset with me and called me some rude names when I stopped answering his messages (scary).

This did not feel good! But my experience is certainly not an isolated one–if you are a girl, and you have spent any time on the internet, chances are good that you have also received some similarly weird, unsolicited messages from guys. How do I know this? Most people have the foresight and generosity to screenshot and share any particularly unsettling messages they receive on the internet, and, most of the time, they are from guys to girls. So, check out these (terrible, awful, no-good) things you will understand, sadly, if you have ever talked to a boy online:

1. You know that boys always jump right into the important stuff:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/160362466713/kaboopasaurus-so-this-dude-has-been-talking-to-me


 

2. You have grappled with the duality of man:


 

3. You know that sometimes, it takes exactly 58 minutes for a man to get mad about someone not responding to him:

A post shared by Bye Felipe ? (@byefelipe) on


 

4. And sometimes even less than that:

A post shared by Bye Felipe ? (@byefelipe) on


 

5. You know that “milady” is the world’s biggest red flag:

https://bigfoothunter420.tumblr.com/post/132138248130/scrumpycleanse-hem-hem-i-am-speaking-to-u-thot


 

6. You know that Facebook is a minefield:
shampoo-facebook7. Actually, nowhere is safe:


 

8. Not even your Deviantart account:

http://allhailweegee.tumblr.com/post/126291778223/souredcandy-i-just-got-asked-out-to-dinner-over


 

9. Or the Yahtzee app:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/160293755899/snarkydiscolizard-bruh


 

11. No man on the internet will stop for anything on his way to call you a bitch:

http://lavenderhues.tumblr.com/post/158828994041/averagefairy-rudiecantfailtomakeyoucum


 

12. Being impressed by a guy’s accomplishments will only make the inevitable disappointment you experience later that much more painful:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/160303003225/stuffmydogsitson-good-to-know-the-nations


 

13. You never trust a man with a fish in his Tinder picture!

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/160328692295/byapinetree-ive-had-tinder-for-less-than-2-hours


 

14. Or, for that matter, the random dudes who slide into your Instagram DMs:


 

15. You know that there is nothing like sexualizing a, um, dinosaur:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/160351008203/notsopurethesedays


 

16. And, finally, you are…so tired:

http://officialriandawson.tumblr.com/post/134090877397/stop-straight-white-boys-2kforever-by-me-not


 

17. Bye!

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/160440039268/dammitjim-im-a-doctor-told-him-i-didnt-want-to

Have you ever experienced anything similar to this? What was it like? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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