Before we get into this, let me be the first to admit that the concept of #HotPeopleProblems has always made me roll my eyes in annoyance. As someone who has never considered herself “hot,” I just don’t really understand the problems a conventionally attractive person could possibly face on a day to day basis. For me, and I’m sure for many, many other people, being thought of as “hot” seems like it would be really great, a problem solver for many of the things us normally attractive people deal with all the time. When talking about #HotPeoplepProblems, it’s difficult for me to come off as anything but sarcastic and less than empathetic, because I don’t understand it, but also because I genuinely think that when put into perspective, the problems associated with being gorgeous hardly seem like problems at all.
But, I guess, this is why threads like this one on Ask Reddit exist – because beautiful people cannot complain about their problems (some of which do, admittedly, sound legitimate) without being called annoying, selfish, and ridiculous. “Hot people problems” are much like “white people problems” or “rich people problems” in the sense that, in terms of serious issues, they are not serious at all. These are privileged groups of people who are not seen as people who should be allowed to complain because they have the things others want. Their problems come off as minuscule and irrelevant, because in the grand scheme of things, they have it all. When an attractive person writes an article where they get a space of 1,000 words to complain about the struggle of being too good-looking, it always comes off as snobby, obnoxious, and condescending. To be honest, it’s difficult to think of it in any other way.
However, I will admit to having my own fair share of annoying problems, none of which I want to get into right now because they are quite embarrassing to complain about publicly, so I am trying very hard to be empathetic here. After all, maybe these feelings do deserve validation and it’s just something you won’t truly get until you are gorgeous. I’m sorry. It’s hard to type it without sounding bitter! With that said, let’s all try together by reading these #HotPeopleProblems only attractive girls will understand. Let’s try to have an open mind… as hard as it may be.
Guys Won't Leave You AloneAs one would imagine, one of the biggest problems girls in this thread complained about was being hit on by too many guys. Creepy dudes do not only flock to attractive women - they will hit on anyone and everyone. But, according to this thread, it's worse if you're conventionally attractive - which, okay, makes sense. User Pikkutarkkaa said the worst issue is, "Being a creepy weirdo magnet whenever you are out in public. Incessantly. No, it's not flattering being assaulted by people who tell you they just had to touch you because they couldn't believe your body is real. It's actually really horrible. It's the ultimate objectification that people (generally men) want to touch your body parts, though I have had women run their hands through my hair as well." Being violated is never okay, and being harassed because of how you look sucks no matter what, so I definitely see how this could be a frustrating issue to deal with on a regular basis. Source: iStock
People Assume You're Confident and SocialAnother understandable problem a lot of users talked about was how people assume certain things about you because of how you look - one of those things is that anyone who is beautiful is also confident, secure, friendly, and social. User parannoyedandroid explained, "I don't have this problem anymore but in high school/ my first couple years of college complete strangers (yeah, usually men) found it appropriate to strike up casual conversation with me. And it's like, well, you know nothing about me so clearly you're not wanting to chat because I have a fantastic personality. It's so f****** off-putting. I think meeting the societal standard of being "pretty" means people also think you're social and I'm so painfully introverted. I'm not shy and I don't have social anxiety, I have no problem talking to strangers but I don't WANT to." Being attractive does not mean you are also instantly confident and outgoing with an extroverted personality. There are plenty of really good looking people who are shy and insecure!
Dating Is Tough Because Guys Are So Focused On Your LooksFrom the outside, it seems like dating would be super easy for "hot" people - after all, most people are attracted to them, so they don't really need to put much effort in (that's what it feels like). But, according to the women of this thread, dating is actually really difficult. User Redhaired103 explains: "I have been on both sides. I wasn't really considered attractive by most until I was 19-20 years old, since then I am considered attractive by most. When I was the ugly duckling I could tell which guy really liked me and which guy pursued me just to make out or something (which only happened like twice anyway). Now it can get really difficult to tell. Sometimes even the guy himself misreads his own feelings and thinks he genuinely likes me romantically when in reality it's mostly lust. It's really crushing when he realizes the truth after I developed feelings for him." A few different girls wrote about how hard it is to find real connection, because a lot of people get so focused on their looks that they don't pay attention to what's underneath that - and when they do, they realize maybe the looks aren't always enough.
The Constant Attention Is ExhaustingFor some people, the constant attention they get from both sexes is just really tiring. User GetOffMyCouch said, "My experience has not been as extreme as others here. I think a LOT of these also have to do with personality and attitude. For me the biggest challenges are attention and people thinking I'm incompetent. The attention is constant, and soo sooo annoying. People talk to me all day long; saying hello, asking if I need help, offering assistance/commentary etc. Non-verbal attention is the worst for me and always put me on edge. I spend a lot of time looking over my shoulder." Research has shown that people are more like to gravitate towards attractive people, so I can see how something this look could be frustrating after a lot of time. Source: iStock
Girls Don't Want You Near Their BoyfriendsSay what you will about #HotPeopleProblems, but the jealousy is real. A lot of the girls in this thread complained about how they can't talk to anyone without someone getting jealous, even if the situation is totally innocent. Use brearose explained, "Girls always get jealous when I talk to their boyfriends. My childhood best friend wouldn't introduce me to her boyfriend for 5 months because she was worried he'd break up with her for me, even though I had no interest in him, and I was 15 and he was 21 (she was 18). It just sucks to not be trusted by other women, even friends, or to have them be afraid to be the "ugly friend" around you. Btw, I'm not even that pretty, I just have distinctive features that make me stand out (tall, blonde, green eyes)." I have a close friend who is really, really pretty, and I've actually heard other mutual friends say they don't want her around their boyfriends, or that they don't want to go out with her when they're trying to find someone to hook up with, because they don't like being compared to her. I've heard her complain about this, and honestly? That does sound like it would suck. Source: iStock
Guy Friends Always End Up Liking YouFor many attractive women, the constant attention from guys is annoying, especially from guys they thought were their friends. User Andhareall says, "I think I'm considered 'average pretty,' but most of the guys I befriend eventually end up developing feelings for me or try to make a move on me at one point or another. It's disappointing and frustrating, but it is what it is."
People Assume Everything Comes Easy To YouWhen I think about the perks of being attractive, I think about the things that must come with it - guys want to buy things for you, people are more likely to offer you jobs, everyone wants to be your friend. But, according to the women of this thread, I'm wrong. User lanisalami explains what's annoying is "People assuming you get everything handed to you on a plate and dates/sex just falls into your lap at your whim. Spoiler alert: we still gotta work for all that stuff, especially with the aforementioned anxiety. People too intimidated to talk to you which limits your socialization because they assume you won't be interested." Source: iStock
People Think You Won't Be SmartOf course, one of the biggest complaints out there is that attractive people aren't thought of as smart. User HomoMirificus said, "People assume you won't be intelligent or competent honestly." I guess, even after all these years, this myth is still thought of as true, which honestly? It's ridiculous. Source: iStock
Girls Are Rude To YouFor many women in this thread, other females seemed to be their biggest issue. User morganKxoxo said, "I've encountered a good number of women who are SO rude to me based on nothing more than appearance. No matter how nice I am I have been treated very poorly by other women." A lot of other users echoed her complaint. Source: iStock
No One Takes You SeriouslyThe number one problem attractive people discussed in this thread? Others not taking them seriously. User vrschikasanaa explains, "This is a question I've personally seen very rarely asked, probably because people would mock us for saying we have any issues. I get that. But truth in fact, some things do suck. Primarily feeling as if you're taken less seriously professionally, the unwanted harassment, people questioning if you've climbed the professional ladder 'horizontally,' being condescended to as if you hitting the genetic lottery means you didn't cultivate anything beyond your looks...I also hate that forming close male platonic friendships seem harder to come by. I'm well aware that I didn't do much to achieve my looks beyond having the benefit of good genes, and putting time into maintenance. I realize that it doesn't make me better than anyone else. I also realize beauty is subjective, I'm only lucky because I live in a period/region/time that dictates that what I look like is deemed acceptable. I find beauty in a lot of different people. But it does suck feeling like sometimes you're judged by superficial reasons, the same way I would imagine unattractive people would feel. I'm just not comparing the two because I also realize that, due to luck, I'm at an advantage." Source: iStock
Do you think of yourself as a hot person? What problems do you face? How do you feel about these issues? Talk about it in the comments!