I am of the firm belief that one of the reasons dating is so hard is because almost everyone out there has high expectations that are, most of the time, very unrealistic. When these expectations don’t get met, people get disappointed, and either end what they had going on, or refuse to think about letting things happen at all. Unrealistic expectations about love, men, women, and relationships in general come from movies, TV shows, books, magazines, societal standards, our very gendered society, outdated dating advice, family members, friends… the list can go on. Today, though, we’re focusing on the unfair expectations guys have about women.
These standards (which, if not met, can totally turn the dude off) come from our very gendered society, where old-fashioned ways of thinking are still extremely common. They’re usually outdated, and they typically don’t allow a woman to be an individual. Now, that said, of course it’s true that women have similar unfair expectations for men. For example, I know too many girls who firmly believe that dudes should be taller than their girlfriend, or that guys should all know the basics of construction. It’s not just dudes who need a reality check!
But still, we’re focusing on the dudes today! That’s thanks to this Ask Reddit thread, which goes over the most unrealistic expectations many guys have about women. Of course not every guy feels this way, and for many, these things aren’t total dealbreakers, but let’s not pretend they don’t exist, you know? Check ’em out!
Our Vaginas Will Smell GreatIf you're a girl, you know that your vagina does not smell great most of the time. There's a lot going on down there, and that can lead to some slightly off smells. Even the days there isn't a weird smell, the vagina kind of smells like... nothing. But that hasn't stopped dudes from assuming that vaginas should always smell and look "perfect." User thebloodofthematador says one expectation is, "That our vaginas will smell like fresh flowers and clean laundry or whatever. I mean, it shouldn't smell bad, or fishy, but it DOES have a smell, and it is NOT like mangoes or cotton candy or whatever the eff they seem to think it should smell like." Source: iStock
We're The 'Cool' GirlfriendThere are too many guys out there who expect their perfect girlfriend to play the part of "cool" girl. Like user apfelsina describes: "That they will be the 'cool girl' - love all of his hobbies, never start drama (read: disagree with him), effortlessly remain thin while eating like a teenage boy. That a girlfriend can and should take care of 100% of his emotional support needs." This is... absurd. The Cool Girlfriend does not exist. She is made up. Source: iStock
We're Sexually Experienced But Not Too MuchUser redkoala says, "So many young guys want a girl who is both sexually inexperienced and yet a total freak in the sheets. They want a girl who hasn't had much sex before them, but they want her to be doing anal and deep throating on their first night together." Exactly! Too many guys expect too much out of girls in the bedroom, and that kind of expertise typically comes from having a lot of sexual experience. But, some guys get totally turned off if a girl has had a rich sex life before him. Total BS. Source: iStock
We're Really FeminineUser ReformedTomboy says, "Wanting a woman to be traditionally feminine yet not wanting to play that traditionally masculine role. A lot of guys want a woman who is more or less deferential to him but don't want to be a man who "leads" in a relationship. They resent making the first move, paying the first date, and initiating but want a woman who will go along with his program and be the more receptive partner but also pay her way entirely and initiate. Doesn't really work that way." Not every guy is like this (which goes for all of these), but the most horrible ones are. Source: iStock
We Look Great Without MakeupOf course, guys expect a lot out of women when it comes to experience. As user eggplanthorse points out, one expectation is, "Looking as good as we do with make-up, but not taking too long to get ready, and not actually wearing make-up ('Women look better without make-up! [sees woman without make-up] You look tired, false advertising')." This hypocritical way of thinking is obnoxious and frustrating. Source: iStock
We Always Look GoodUser LittleClefairyWings says one unfair expectation is, "That they straight up deserve a hot woman, no matter what they look like or what they do to contribute as a member of society. I feel like this is where groups like redpill, incel/truecel ("we deserve government-issued girlfriends!"), and MGTOW come from." Yup! Not every guy expects to be with someone conventionally attractive, but a disturbing amount are - even if they're offering nothing. Source: iStock
We're Super Nurturing All The TimeOne popular way of thinking about women is that we're great at talking to people and dealing with emotions, but that isn't true for everyone. User explosiveace says, "That all women are naturally more nurturing and emotionally intelligent, and therefore more suited to deal with everyone else's messy emotions. One - I'm not naturally like that, I've been trained by society from a young age to be aware of and regulate my emotions (not to mention others'...); and two - deal with your own effing feelings!!!" Source: iStock
We'll Do Whatever They Want During SexThanks to porn, a lot of guys seem to think that women are built to please in the bedroom. User amgov points out this unfair expectation: "That we will eagerly perform all kinds of often unpleasant and sometimes unsafe sex acts, with negligible foreplay, and that this will lead to quick and noisy orgasms." Source: iStock
We Are Virtually HairlessBody hair has been a big topic of debate for a long time, but it's still worth mentioning. User glitterswirl says guys expect, "Hairlessness. Particularly if it is requested by a hairy man." So aggravating! Source: iStock
We'll Always Orgasm During SexNews flash: not all girls can have an orgasm during penetrative sex. But, a lot of dudes think they can. User effervescenthoopla says, "That dick + vagina = mutual orgasm. Nothing is taught about the importance of foreplay to stimulate the secretion of self-lubricating materials in the vagina that will make sex 5000x more comfortable for both partners, and most young guys don't realize that the average woman needs about 10 minutes of foreplay plus explicit clitoral stimulation to be able to reach orgasm. It's also a shame that a lot of young guys don't realize how little the size/shape of their dick matters. Like, unless it's significantly large/small, it's literally not something we care about for the vast majority of women. Also, it's so goddamn annoying when dudes brag about "how tight a pussy is." Like, dude, most girls are only tight if they're not properly aroused. That's like bragging about how loud your car is because you're racing it with the emergency brake on lmao." Source: iStock
Which one of these expectations do you think is the most unfair? What did we forget to add? Share in the comments!