The idea that social media helps maintain friendships is a bit of a myth. Okay, it’s true in the sense that, yes, you can easily contact someone and you can see what they’re getting up to. But a true friendship with someone you’ve known IRL for years just can’t be reduced to liking their Instagram posts every now and then and being reminded by Facebook to wish them a happy birthday. There are people I have relationships with like that that I still consider friends, but is our friendship the same that it was in our senior year of high school? Ha! Absolutely not. Hell, let me show you a personal example: Some of the high school friends I’m still friends with today? Yeah, we weren’t as close in our last couple of years of school as we are now. Bizarre, right? Meanwhile, there are people I was inseparable with for my entire high school career whom I’ve barely seen or communicated with past high school graduation, no-drama attached. Friendships are weird and unpredictable, and, more than anything, they’re a lot harder to keep up with than we’re led to believe.
It’s natural for a friendship to ebb and flow, wax and wane. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking social media; I think it’s nice to take a little sneak peak into the lives of people we were once incredibly close with, but aren’t so much anymore. But I want you to be prepared for a friendship you think will be tight for eternity to, er, be a little less tight than you planned. Even the best of intentions can fall prey to that little thing called life. So watch out for these eight signs that your high school friendship won’t survive past graduation. Good luck!
You Haven't Seen Each Other At All During BreakThe first break of your freshman year of college can be the biggest indicator of the strength of your high school friendship. If you take the time to meet up with each other, congrats, your friendship still has life left in it. If you don't--even if you two were both in town and free to hang--then the writing is on the wall: You know you could chill with them, but you'd rather spend your time doing other things. If you don't hang by the next summer break...woof. My Mad Fat Diary
When You Two DO Hang Out IRL, You Two Don't Have Much To Talk AboutIn high school, you were able to talk about just about anything with this friend of yours. But now? Whenever you two hang out it's like pulling teeth! Maybe this friend is really into her sorority or college sports team, and you just can't relate. Or maybe she can't relate to your activism jargon or your obsession with this one makeup artist on YouTube. You run out of things to talk about and just end up going over funny high school moments over and over again. Honestly, that's the biggest red flag there is: If the only thing you and this friend have in common these days is high school flashbacks, you two have simply grown apart. You can still care about them, and vice versa, but you'll likely do it from afar from now on. Hey, people change, and that's okay. Freaks and Geeks
You Only Hang Out With This Friend In A GroupMaybe your friendship isn't on the rocks, but a good indicator that your friendship just isn't as tight as it once was is if you really only see this friend when you're in a group. Hanging out one-on-one? Maybe you guys make tentative plans that never pan out, or something just feels more comforting about hanging out with this friend with others than solo. Would you have acted the same way in junior year? Probably not. Some Girls
You Only Make Half-Hearted Efforts To Visit Each Other In CollegeVisiting a friend when they're away at college is really fun and it's a great way to see what their life is like now that they're more independent. You could be perfectly good friends with someone from high school and never quite swing a trip (money doesn't grow on trees), but if travel cost isn't much of an issue, and there's a weekend when you can totally pull it off, and you don't? Hm, ask yourself: Do you really want to visit this friend you keep promising you'll visit? Or are you just being polite? This kind of behavior might also explain why some other high school pal always comes up with an excuse not to visit you. YouTube/Vivian Girls
Everything You Know About Them, You Know From Their Social Media UpdatesThat new bae, that cool internship, that film class from hell...you know all about it. But not because this friend actually had a conversation with you. Nope, you just know about it from their Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook accounts. For the record, you can have great relationships with people that are primarily through social media channels, but let's not act as if going from a friendship that had heavy texting and FaceTiming to one that relies on liking each other's photos isn't a downgrade. Black Mirror
You Mostly Hear About This Friend Through OthersYou might not see Rachel IRL or keep close tabs on her on social, but you still know exactly what's going on in her life! Why? A mutual friend always fills you in. If you're content with hearing a third party account of a high school friend's life, it might be time to admit that you're just not as invested in this friend as you used to be. And remember, you probably have another so-called friend getting updates about you in the exact same way. Fresh Meat
You See Your Other High School Friends A Lot MoreYou'll make time for people you want to make time for, period. When you're consistently making time for HS Friend A but not for HS Friend B, that just means you're really not as dedicated to your relationship with B as you used to be. You might not be doing this consciously, but that doesn't mean all that much. Actions speak louder than words.Clueless
You're Cool With Relying On Social Media To Keep In TouchIf you're convinced that social media is the best way to keep in contact with a high school friend, then your friendship is already slowly, but surely, falling apart. Like I said earlier, you'll make time in your life for people you want to make time for, and anyone who is relegated to your Facebook sphere is going to be left in the dust. Hey, if you're getting the same treatment aforementioned friend, then maybe you guys are on the same page about the current state of your friendship, and that's fine! But watch out for some awkward one-sidedness. Those unanswered texts add up. Broad City
Do you already have an idea of which friends you won’t be all that close to after you graduate? Are you in college and having a hard time keeping up with high school friends? Tell us in the comments!