Ask A Guy: Here’s What Actually Makes A Guy Ghost You

Hey Joel,

A while ago I was talking to this guy and we immediately had a connection. We were both into the same things and had a ton in common. I talked to him during school and we texted every day for about two weeks straight. It was until I would text him and he began to respond with less and less and then he just stopped texting me. I don’t know why… we never got into a fight or anything and I’m just wondering why he stopped talking to me. One time he briefly mentioned something about nude photos and it seemed like a joke, but I declined and that was really the end of the discussion. What that all he wanted from me? 

Even if you’re not in a serious relationship, the idea of a “honeymoon period” always exists. During the first few weeks of getting to know anyone, it is super exciting, and it’s all about the things you have in common and how nice it is to be with someone special. However, that can fade quickly, and reasons why you wouldn’t want to go further begin to show themselves.

There is a very good chance that all he was looking for was an easy hookup or some nude snaps, and when he realized you weren’t that easy, he moved on. Many guys, especially younger guys, do this as often as possible. They’re not looking for a real relationship, and they might lie a bit about themselves to try and draw you in quicker.

However, there is also a possibility that something else is going on in his life, or maybe he met someone else he feels like he connected with on a different level. Also, the level and strength you connected at might have scared him a bit.

If you’re really curious, nothing beats asking him. It sounds like texting won’t work well, so find him at school and ask him. Chances are, he’ll give some excuse, but it’s the only way to know for sure.

Regardless of the reality behind his actions, I wouldn’t stress too much about why he isn’t texting you anymore. I totally get that it sucks when someone sort of drops you, but if it was this quick, he wasn’t worth the time in the first place. I know you feel like you connected fast on a lot of levels, but it may have just been a front on his part.

In many ways, you should consider yourself lucky that this guy revealed himself as not worth your time so early into things. There are tons of really great guys out there, so if I were you, I’d put this one in your rearview mirror and get back out there to find a better man!

Best wishes,


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at!

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  • Broken heart

    It happened the same to me. I met a Danish man. I felt really close to him. And i was supposed to see him today. I booked a plane a month ago . But he began to write me less and less “pretending” he was busy. One week before my plane he didn’t respond me back. He didn’t write me until the last day before my plane. I write him to ask if he forget that i’m supposed to see him. He responded back 10 hours after. Too late . I cancelled my plane , i was afraid he never call me and to get in trouble in airport. I feel that we werent so close finally. I expected him to be a little bit available in order to plan things specially when he is supposed to host me. I think he just didn’t care about me. I always showed interest in him but he didn’t.

    My heart is broken now.

    Distance don’t separate people but silence does…

  • Rea Fe Greenage

    Like the girl, I have felt the same way. But I am older than her, but I am in that situation. I have been meeting a guy from Austria on Instagram, it was days or a week that I got my braces. He was older than me, and he seem nice. At first, I was nervous to chat to him. But when we get to know each other, I feel very comfortable with him. I viewed him as a friend, but I didn’t know why he kept asking a picture of me. Maybe he was trying to check if it really me, good thing he didn’t ask for a nude picture of me! I send him pictures of me and the places I live. He did show me pictures of the places he live. He was concerned of me, asking if my braces hurt.
    I was investigating about him, he did have a Facebook but I am nervous to send him a friend requests. What strange is that he have follow lots of women who have braces. He also have braces too. He would message me and I respond back. After that he didn’t contact me, but I contact him. I have told him my problem at my job and planed for Easter Sunday. But it have been weeks. I just send one message to him, but he didn’t respond back. With him, he make me feel like I am special and that I have someone who listen to me.