Ask A Guy: Here’s What Actually Makes A Guy Ghost You

Hey Joel,

A while ago I was talking to this guy and we immediately had a connection. We were both into the same things and had a ton in common. I talked to him during school and we texted every day for about two weeks straight. It was until I would text him and he began to respond with less and less and then he just stopped texting me. I don’t know why… we never got into a fight or anything and I’m just wondering why he stopped talking to me. One time he briefly mentioned something about nude photos and it seemed like a joke, but I declined and that was really the end of the discussion. What that all he wanted from me? 

Even if you’re not in a serious relationship, the idea of a “honeymoon period” always exists. During the first few weeks of getting to know anyone, it is super exciting, and it’s all about the things you have in common and how nice it is to be with someone special. However, that can fade quickly, and reasons why you wouldn’t want to go further begin to show themselves.

There is a very good chance that all he was looking for was an easy hookup or some nude snaps, and when he realized you weren’t that easy, he moved on. Many guys, especially younger guys, do this as often as possible. They’re not looking for a real relationship, and they might lie a bit about themselves to try and draw you in quicker.

However, there is also a possibility that something else is going on in his life, or maybe he met someone else he feels like he connected with on a different level. Also, the level and strength you connected at might have scared him a bit.

If you’re really curious, nothing beats asking him. It sounds like texting won’t work well, so find him at school and ask him. Chances are, he’ll give some excuse, but it’s the only way to know for sure.

Regardless of the reality behind his actions, I wouldn’t stress too much about why he isn’t texting you anymore. I totally get that it sucks when someone sort of drops you, but if it was this quick, he wasn’t worth the time in the first place. I know you feel like you connected fast on a lot of levels, but it may have just been a front on his part.

In many ways, you should consider yourself lucky that this guy revealed himself as not worth your time so early into things. There are tons of really great guys out there, so if I were you, I’d put this one in your rearview mirror and get back out there to find a better man!

Best wishes,


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at!

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