Why do us girls always worry about being considered needy? There are so many things that people do that are only thought of as clingy and annoying when a girl does them compared to when a guy does them. Example: if a girl won’t take no for an answer from her crush, she’s called desperate. If a guy won’t take for an answer from his crush, he is sometimes called romantic (this is true in movies, at least). This is true, though: there are things girls do all the time that guys think of as needy. Should you be worried about them? No. You shouldn’t change your behavior because of a dude unless your behavior is actually harmful. But it is interesting to know about.
Of course, no one wants to be thought of as needy, which is why silly dating games exist. I know that, in the beginning of a relationship, it can be hard to strike a balance between, “I like you so much, let’s hang out all the time,” and “I could care less if you disappear, I don’t need you.” But honestly, our obsession with clingy behavior is weird. It’s like the worst thing a girl could do with a dude is act a little needy. Being called needy is one dig a guy can make at someone that might send them retreating into a Shame Cave of self doubt and pity, and it shouldn’t be that way. There are worse things you could be than a little annoying! Here are a few totally normal things girls do all the time that dudes think of as needy. Gross.
Taking A Photo TogetherOh my god, has anyone dated a dude who puts up a huge stink about taking a picture with you? The justification behind it is always BS: just the fact that you, a female, wants to take a picture with this guy who you like, for whatever reason, that selfie automatically makes you super needy. Why do you need that picture anyway? Do you want to post it? Are you trying to CLAIM me? Oh my god, you're so crazy. Sorry, dudes. We're not going to run you a PowerPoint presentation about Why You Should Take A Picture With Me, but maybe you should stop being a jerk. Wanting to take a selfie with someone you're with isn't needy at all and dudes need to grow up about this. Source: iStock
Inviting Them To Important EventsMaybe you have a family trip, you're in a school play, or you're throwing a birthday party - whatever it is, you can invite your crush or bae there without being called needy. If they get weird about it because they think it means you care too much, they can go. You show up for someone! You show up for your close friends, so even if they're commitment-phobes, they should at least throw you a bone, here. Just show up for someone! It's not that hard and whining about it makes dudes seem childish.Source: iStock
Sending A Double TextTattoo this on your chest so you don't forget it: you aren't asking for all the stars in the sky when you simply request that someone text you back. Or call. Or something. If you text someone and they don't respond, they are rude for not getting back to you - you aren't rude for following up. Still a lot of dudes find double texting clingy, which is annoying. Source: iStock
Asking For Help Or Needing Any Type Of FavorAsking for help is a part of life, but sometimes guys take it the wrong way. I honestly don't know why! Source: iStock
Needing Validation Or ComplimentsSo, what, do we think relationships are maintained by non-verbal communication only? It's okay if you need to hear a compliment every now and again. We all need validation just to make sure. Not everyone just intuitively knows what someone else feels about them. And you know what? If this person is into you, this shouldn't be that hard. You aren't needy for wanting a compliment. I know that's the most stereotypical needy girl thing, but it's definitely not true.Source: iStock
Wanting To Talk About The Big Things In LifeSmall talk is annoying, and it's okay to want to talk about big things in your life and how you're feeling. Even if it has nothing to do with you, life's bigger subjects need to be discussed. Of course, the most common complaint against this being something needy is that some guys "just don't like to talk about their feelings" or "why do you have to be such a downer?" Those are fair points, but you know what? Too bad, dudes. That isn't our fault, but the fact that you don't like it doesn't make girls needy for wanting this level of connection out of a relationship. Source: iStock
Saying That You Want To Define The RelationshipOh my god, how and why does this make us needy? Wanting to be in a relationship doesn't make you needy or desperate and asking that the person you're seeing speak up about how they perceive your relationship isn't being too demanding. Yeah, it might be awkward and strange, but nothing cool happened in life by being comfortable all the time. Stop shaming girls who broach this topic. It doesn't make us needy, it just makes us people who know what we want and don't enjoy wasting our time.Source: iStock
Expecting Them To Make An EffortOkay, everybody. Expecting the person you're with to at least show that they're trying isn't something needy. We've all been in relationships (or "talking" non-relationships) with guys who just phone it in, only reap the benefits of being in a relationship, leech off your kindness, then peace out when they're bored. No, sir. If you're going to be in it, be IN IT. That's to be expected, and the fact that girls expect that out of you isn't strange or out of the ordinary. It's not needy at all, it's the literal and actual bare minimum, so how about you reevaluate what you consider needy, alright? Source: iStock
Has anyone accused you of being needy? Were they blowing something normal way out of proportion? Let us know in the comments!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.