If you have been paying attention, you’ll know that everything going on in the world right now appears to be gearing up to reduce the earth to nothing more than a collective heap of smoldering ashes. Because of this, it is no surprise that there is a high demand for wholesome, heartwarming content to counteract…everything else. You know, like, your puppy pictures. Your surprise proposal videos. Your celebrity couple selfies.
Before I get into this post, I should say that I do think that my job, which basically ensures that I am online at all times, has pickled my brain to the point in which I am incapable of appreciating anything that appears to have more than, say, a 20 percent level of performative sincerity. This means that, while there certainly is some wholesome content that remains incorruptible–puppies, kittens, vegan goat sanctuaries, etc.–so many other things on the internet are not actually cute, but have been deemed as being “cute” that, by way of overexposure, anything with the word “cute” or “inspiring” in it makes me want to retch. It is a curse! And, of course, it is a curse that strikes most often when I am confronted with relationship goals pictures or memes–you know, those photos of heterosexual, attractive couples that the viewer is meant to look at and think, That’s cute! I want that life.
I would argue, however, that there is a certain kind of pleasure to be derived from the pain that other peoples’ actions give you. (So, like, a mix between masochism and schadenfreude. That’s normal, right?) So, if you, too, feel like experiencing a vague sense of full-body disillusionment today, check out these relationship goals posts that might just make you lose your faith in humanity:
1. This is so rude????
2. I think the idea here is that the person creating the meme would rather be with someone who is poor and not conventionally attractive who still treats them well, rather than with someone who is conventionally attractive and rich but treats them poorly. And that’s great! But, uh, most people don’t love being called a “beast:”
4. Ah, yes–nothing like pitting one couple who appears to genuinely love one another against another couple who genuinely love one another (and also attend a homophobic church):
5. *Sends this meme thirty seconds after a first date*
6. Sounds like genuine sexual assault, but okay! (Also, who took this picture?)
7. This, too, is abuse being disguised as a goal:
8. I’m so happy for whoever made this!
9. ABSOLUTELY not:
10. *Screams into the void*
11. WHY ARE MINIONS HERE:
12. Codependency. Nice:
13. Why are all of these goals so…rude?
14. See? Rude:
15. Haha. Bye!
What do you think of these posts? Do you like any of them? Let us know in the comments!