Tons of people still think that you need to have at least one major relationship in high school or else something’s wrong with you. Actually, if you want to save yourself a ton of disappointment and strangeness, you should just skip it… because dating in high school is seriously overrated. Even if you don’t have strict parents and technically date whoever you want, dating in high school is actually a lot more trouble than it’s worth. I’m not here to rag on how everyone’s immature and you’re all still “kids” anyway because if I’m being honest, no one really gets that much more mature after graduation, so sorry to disappoint there. What I’m talking about is all the weird age restrictions and the unfortunate circumstance of simply being in high school and also trying to date. Believe it or not, it sucks more than you think.
Even your friends who look like they have picture perfect relationships are actually dealing with a whole unique subset of stress on top of everything else that goes on in high school. Everything’s changing, people are figuring out who they are, and the stakes are way high. By all means, dating in high school is entirely your choice – if you want to do it, do it. There are definitely some perks and benefits, like learning how to be in a relationship in the first place and the fact that hooking up feels nice, but the drawbacks are definitely still a looming threat. For what it’s worth, these are nine reasons dating in high school is actually way overrated.
You Probably Don't Have Any MoneyUnless you're flush with cash from an after school job or your parents are VERY generous, chances are good that you and your date do not have much money to spare. That's fine! You don't need tons of cash to date someone. But it can lead to a lack of actual, you know, dates, meaning that instead of dinner and a movie, you'll be doing Netflix and chill. Not so romantic. Grease
You Still Have To Ask For Your Parents' PermissionThey're probably not only the ones fronting you some cash, but they're also likely driving you there, picking you up, etc. So, unless they give you carte blanche and let you date whoever, dating in high school is way likely to involve a heavy amount of parent participation and involvement. Who wants that? It's such a buzzkill to have your parents involved in your love life to the degree they wind up being in high school. To be honest, it's not worth it. You can wait until college, trust me. The payoff is well worth it.10 Things I Hate About You
If You Break Up, You Still Have To See Them EverywhereThanks for nothing, school. No matter how you slice it, there's no truly clean breakup in high school. You still have to see them everywhere, you likely share at least a handful of friends, some of whom might stop talking to you in the event of a truly disastrous break up. Sounds like fun, right? Even if you try to ignore them or avoid them, it's almost impossible. If you're successful in that attempt, you're also dealing with constant anxiety and effort spent in actively NOT seeing them.My So-Called Life
You Definitely Know The Next Girl They Wind Up DatingAnd you have to see them make out by their lockers! Great! It'd be one thing if she was just some anonymous girl you stalked via your ex's Instagram, but you probably know her or at least know a lot more about her than someone would in a not-high school situation. This somehow makes the break up hurt worse. Oh, did I mention you're extremely likely to break up in high school? That, too. This part of high school dating is inevitable and it sucks the most.Pariah
The High School Rumor Mill Is The Actual WorstOh, you thought you had some amount of privacy and that you and bae were doing pretty well... until there's a random breakup rumor, coupled with some gossip that one of you cheated, and what *exactly* you did to them sexually that could be totally scandalous. In high school, there's your relationship, then there's the story everyone wants to create about your relationship. Unfortunately, you have no control over the latter and it can wind up wrecking your actual relationship if you're not careful enough.Easy A
Everyone Is Still Figuring It OutLike learning anything new, in the beginning things are bound to suck. It could mean your partner is a bad kisser or is terrible in bed, or that they're not yet emotionally mature and good at communicating. They're still figuring this stuff out, and so are you. There's definitely a learning curve here and there's not much either of you can do to speed up the process. Random blow up fights, while technically avoidable, may happen sooner or later since relationships require a different level of maturity.The Breakfast Club
It's Just One More Thing To Stress AboutHigh school is already stressful enough with tests, class, sports teams, school plays, coursework, managing the expectations of your parents, and somehow trying to fit sleep in there. Do you seriously have any extra brain space to stress about bae texting you back or whether or not they're paying you enough attention? I know it's a stereotype to say that dating distracts from life in high school, and it's totally possible to have a successful relationship in high school. All I'm saying is it's going to give you some extra added stress you could all do without. Misfits
The Level Of Sneaking Around And Planning Just To Hook Up Is OutrageousHaving quiet, sneaky, beginners sex on a twin bed sounds like a huge turn on... or just a huge pain. Sorry to be so harsh, but the sheer level of effort and sneaking you have to do just to be able to hook up in peace is exhausting. And you have to do it every single time you want to hook up! Oh my god, who has the energy for that? The ominous threat of a parent walking in is enough to turn you off or keep you not present enough to actually have good sex.My Mad Fat Diary
You Probably Don't Like Them That Much AnywayDon't let the negative thought that you *have* to be in a relationship in high school or else something is wrong with you make you settle for someone you aren't excited about. If you're being truly honest with yourself, do you actually like this person or are the best available option and they already sort-of know you well enough, so it's just easy? I know it sounds harsh, but these have been your only dating options since you started school to begin with. So, do you really even like them to begin with? It's okay to say no. It's part of how weird dating can be in high school.Skins
Do you actually like dating in high school? Do you think it’s overrated, too, or do you think you’re being cynical? Let us know in the comments!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.