Have you ever taken an online quiz and came across a question along the lines of “what quality do you look for in a partner?” The possible choices are almost always super predictable: Funny, brave, attractive, smart. Look, I’m not saying those aren’t nice qualities; who the hell wouldn’t love to have a relationship with someone who makes them laugh? Who would want to date someone who’s an idiot? Who thinks hotties are a turnoff? But oh my GOD, those qualities are so…standard. We’ve got people out there looking for someone who is a drop dead gorgeous comedian with the IQ of a genius and who was sorted into Gryffindor. Hey, I’m not saying you shouldn’t aim high, and I would never encourage anyone to aim low. I’m just here to say that there are other qualities you should look for in a bar that are really important and woefully underrated.
What good is it dating a funny guy with straight A’s if they’re riddled with some really yikesworthy qualities that you haven’t thought to take into serious consideration? Check out these eight qualities you should look for in a partner that aren’t cliche AF. Trust, bravery and intellect aren’t everything.
WokenessHonestly, if your crush or potential BF/GF/whatever isn't at all tuned into what is going on in the world or thinks that the concept of privilege is PC nonsense, or anything like that...don't bother. You deserve to have a partner who is woke, or is at least willing to be more woke about issues that are close to you. HOWEVER, please be careful around people who like to brag about how woke they are. You know the saying that a good writers shows instead of tells? Take that same approach to self-proclaimed woke dudes. Someone who is actually down for important causes doesn't need to broadcast this all the time. If your crush does this, they're probably just fake woke. Dear White People
A Desire To Learn New ThingsYes, intelligence is hot AF. But do you know what's not hot? When really smart people are uninterested in learning about new things in areas or subjects that they aren't invested in. It's like...when you have a math wiz who just doesn't see the point in learning more about history, or a film snob who can't appreciate watching a damn rom-com. Ugh, pass. Submarine
BoringnessYou're probably looking at this and thinking, "Uh, what?" But hear me out: You want to date someone who you can be a little boring with and vice versa. Spontaneity is fun, it's cute, but it's really overrated as a quality to have in a bae. Most of your relationship will not be spent getting showered in surprise gifts or cool adventures. You're going to spend most of your time together swapping memes, TBH. You'll want someone you can actually do this with, pain free. Freaks and Geeks
Good ListenerI think that people like the idea of this in theory, but don't really actively seek out people who have this quality...only to find out that their bae is garbage at listening when it's "too late." See if your crush actually responds to what you're saying with follow up questions instead of just a cursory, "Uh huh, wow." My Mad Fat Diary
Similar Approaches To TextingSome of you might scoff at this, but I truly think that we underestimate the importance of similar texting styles and approaches when thinking of a potential partner. It's really hard to date someone who is a frequent texter when you can take a few hours to reply. And it's even harder to have anything beyond awwkard conversations when you and a potential bae have totally different texting senses of humor. Like, would you want a bae who can't respond to your meme text with a hint of humor? Can't be me, y'all. Broad City
HumilityWe should all be able to swallow our pride and admit when we're wrong. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. It's bad enough when we ourselves have this issue (and you should actively try to grow out of it, TBH), but it's even worse when someone we're in a relationship can't own up to not being right all the time. Avoid people who will turn everything into a debate just to have their way. Serve 'em up some humble pie instead. Clueless
SelfelessnessSure, it's well and good to be brave, but let's be real: A lot of bravery can be done out of self-interest. You don't want to be with someone who can only be the bigger person when they get something out of it. You want someone who doesn't always put themselves first. This shows that they know the world is bigger than just them and their problems. Skins
MaturityWe've all had a crush on the class clown, or someone who is a little goofy. But ladies...please...be with someone who is on your maturity level. You don't want to feel like you're babying them about basic stuff. Some Girls
What other qualities are woefully underrated? Tell us in the comments!