Real talk: is your high school sweetheart The One or are they only the best option you saw available in your hometown? Most high school relationships don’t work out after graduation and yours might be one of them. I know that sounds harsh. But the world is way bigger than your hometown and it’s full of so many people you haven’t met yet, and a good handful of them exist in college. (Or wherever you end up after high school.) So, it’s no wonder that people break up with the person they’ve been with since high school sometime during their first Thanksgiving break (some people call it the “turkey drop“). This might be the first time you’ve spent an extended period of time out of your hometown and in college you’ll be straight up living with people who may be better suited for you than your high school bae – and that’s fine!
Seriously, it doesn’t mean that your relationship wasn’t special or worth it if you wind up breaking up. In fact, people break up and get back together all the time and you may just be the exception to the rule, but there’s no doubt that making it work in college, especially if you’re going to different schools, is uniquely challenging. You won’t see them every day the way you used to in high school, coordinating visits is hard, the FOMO is bound to be awful, and feeling disconnected is inevitable unless you put some serious effort into making it work. And honestly… putting all that work in might not be worth it when push comes to shove. Now, I know plenty of people who are happily married to their high school sweethearts, but if guys aren’t going to make it long after graduating high school, chances are you already know even if you hate to admit it. For starters, these are eight signs your high school relationship isn’t going to last into college.
You Think Breaking Up Is The Worst Thing That Can Ever Happen To YouObviously, breaking up is going to suck, but if you're fearing it like it's the literal end of the world, you're actually setting your relationship up for failure. If you've put all your happiness into whether or not this relationship works out in a forever kind of way, that's a ton of pressure! For one thing, people break up and get back together all the time, but if you have an unrealistic attitude about what a break up might mean for you two, you're already setting your relationship on a course for splitting after graduation.Source: iStock
This Is The Only Person You've Been WithThis tends to be the case with most high school relationships. Is this your first serious boyfriend/girlfriend? Losing that kind of relationship and that level of intimacy sounds really scary. But, are they just your security blanket? Is there something you want to keep about this relationship other than the fact that it exists and is comforting? Sorry to say, that might not be enough of a reason for a relationship to survive once you get to college. There's so many more people in this world that exist beyond your hometown, so even though you feel this way, the person you're with now is actually not the be-all-end-all of baes.Source: iStock
You're Going To School Far Away From Each OtherIf you're being honest with yourselves, between classwork, new friends, conflicting schedules, little mutual time off, it'll be difficult to even find a good time to Skype, never mind visit each other. Being long distance sounds easy in theory, but when it comes to down to it, it takes a lot more effort to make it work. The distance and not constantly seeing each other might just be enough to drive you two apart and you know what? That's perfectly fine and natural. You're supposed to be independent and find out who you are outside of where and how you grew up in college, so it's actually okay if the person you're with is going to have a similar experience.Source: iStock
Either/Both Of You Gets Super Jealous And PossessiveGuess who's not going to handle seeing you post group photos on social media without them? You guessed it! Being apart from each other isn't going to be the best thing in the world, especially if you are or happen to be with someone who's super possessive and gets very jealous very easily. What was a minor quirk when you were living in the same town, it might blow up out of proportion once you separate for college. It might be enough to drive you apart. Maintaining their levelheadedness and talking them off of a ledge when they freak out is going to be super annoying after a while.Source: iStock
You Avoid Talking About It At All CostsHey, maybe if you pretend this isn't going to be an issue, it magically *won't* be. That's how it works, right? Um, no. If you want to make your relationship work, you'll talk about different ways to make it work and plan accordingly, but if you can't talk about it with the person you're with, you're probably not going to be with them in the long run. I hate to say it, but the person who's avoiding this discussion is probably avoiding having to say that they don't want to be together once you go to college. Ooph.Source: iStock
You're Not In Love YetYou don't have to be in high school! That's totally fine! But, it's worth noting that if you're in love with them, it might give you enough of a drive to make your relationship work after graduation. If you're just not there yet, don't be surprised if you find it not working out once you part ways to go to college. Don't judge yourself or feel ashamed of not being there yet, you can't control how you feel, it just might be a sign this won't last.Source: iStock
Everyone's Encouraging You Two To Break UpThis can feel totally rude! Who are they to say what you should and shouldn't do in life, right? Well, for starters, they might see something in your relationship that you don't where they're concerned for your well being or they could just be encouraging you to get out there and date more/different people in college. Either way, once that seed is planted in your mind, you're going to want to do the opposite as hard as you can and try against all odds to make it work and maybe make the whole thing implode because of it. Wanting to prove them wrong could actually do you more harm than good.Source: iStock
You Have Zero Faith That You'll Get Back Together After A BreakContrary to popular belief, people get back together after breaks all the time. It's totally possible. But if the idea of taking a break gives you tons of anxiety because you know deep down that you two won't get back together, I think you already have your answer: you aren't going to last very long after graduating high school. If you know this is only good in theory but won't actually work out where you wind up getting back together, you know there's someone or something else out there for both of you that neither of you can give each other. And that's fine! Trust your gut on this one.Source: iStock
Are you and bae taking a break when you go to college? Or do you think you’re going to be together forever? Let us know in the comments (and good luck)!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.