7 Surprising Things Guys Do To Their Penises

At this point, we all know how truly weird guys are. I don’t think I need to spend any more time explaining that to you. I mean, I obviously COULD, but that would be a waste of time, since we all know exactly how weird they are. But, do you ever think about how weird they are when we, the intellectual women of earth, aren’t looking? Specifically, have you ever thought about the weird things they do with their penises? LOL, probably not, but we are going to talk about that today.


I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to get ~curious~ with your body. I mean, every girl does weird things to her boobs, right? No shame. But, there are things that guys do to their penises that you might not even think about. Also, not every person with a penis is a guy, which is important to note. In this post, I’m specifically talking about cisgender guys, you know, people who were born with penises and identify as male. I also want to point out that I do not actually have a penis, so none of these things I can say for certain, but with the help of the wonderful world of the internet, I present to you all of the weird AF things peopled with penises do with said penises. I mean, you’re curious, right? Check out all the gory details here:

Inject It

This seems painful, but I guess guys do it? A doctor in New York claims he can make a guy's penis bigger by performing a "botox-like" procedure. Yes, this seems dangerous and yes, this seems very painful, but it does say it adds 1.5 inches to a guy's penis. I mean....okay. Whatever makes you happy, guy.

Image Source: Degrassi

Measure It

Why is it that guys are so obsessed with the size of their penises? There are actually a few reasons: one being that they like to be seen as the "alpha male" with the biggest penis in ALL the land. Penis= power, apparently? There is also tape made specifically for measuring penises. Hm.

Image Source: New Girl

Stick It In Places

More specifically, stick it in places it's not supposed to go, like this man who stuck his penis ina toaster. I'm not sure why, but it happened and it sounds painful. Or, they "accidentally" stick it in your butt while having sex. Note: that's not cool. If any guy does that... get rid of him.

Image Source: Awkward

Hold It All The Time

Guy love to touch their penises. It's actually a thing. They do it all the time, for a number of reasons. Maybe they are itchy, sweaty or just making sure it's still there. Better safe than sorry, I guess?

Image Source: Degrassi

See How Far They Can Pee

I didn't know that whit was a thing, but according to Reddit, guys like to see how far they can pee. Sometimes, they make it into a little game, like user iamthesushighost said, "Start peeing in toilet, back up 1 or 42 feet to see how far I can pee into the bowl." That's fine, as long as you don't pee all over the bathroom. That's gross.

Image Source: Skins

Compare It

I mean...dudes just want to know how big they are compared to other guys. I'm not really sure why, and honestly, I don't think guys know why either. They are curious if they are "bigger" or "smaller" than their peers. Obviously they would NEVER ask their BFF their penis size (GASP), but they compare to porn stars. Interesting.

Image Source: Skins

Name It

Supposedly, guys name their penises. In a recent study, 60 percent of men admitted that they have "pet names" for their genitals. The names can be anything from "Edward" to "Big Bear." Not sure how to comment on that one.

Image Source: Anchorman


Which one of these facts were you surprised by? Tell us in the comments!

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