At this point, we have all more or less acknowledged that #RelationshipGoals is a concept that’s wildly unrealistic. It exists solely on the internet and its only purpose, it seems, is to cause us all to suffer unrealistic expectations of love. We’ve all got that. Still, I have to say a lot of people have some sincere, seemingly attainable relationship goals that just need to be let go.
To be honest, not all of these allegedly realistic, attainable, truly desirable relationship goals look like good ideas anyway. They can be way extra. Like, embarrassingly so. I get the feeling that some things that might seem like more realistic goals still only happen for the benefit of social media. There’s no one way to be in love and if it doesn’t look exactly like your Pinterest-perfect version of an ideal relationship, that doesn’t mean that your relationship sucks. But, that’s not going to stop that toxic thought of “Oh, if THIS doesn’t happen, our love must not be all that great, it’s probably not real, we’re not at THAT LEVEL yet.” Stop it. These relationship goals are unrealistic, sometimes unattainable, and to be honest, not at all worth holding on to. Drop it. These are 14 relationship goals you need to let go of already.
1)Climaxing at the same time, ever.
Who invented the love litmus test that you’re only ~In Love~ if you come at the exact same time when you’re having sex? Like that’s the benchmark to see if you have really spectacular chemistry. I’m sorry, but the most clearly unrealistic alleged requirement for a “perfect relationship” that’s low-key making everyone feel like crap in bed. Let it go!
2) Bae being able to physically pick you up.
Real talk, that’s not in the cards for everybody. A guy’s measure of strength shouldn’t be in whether or not he can benchpress or even lift his girlfriend off the ground. And if you’re with a girl, are you both supposed to be super jacked and be able to carry each other’s literal bodyweight around? Most relationship goal pictures feature some variation of this same pose and if it doesn’t happen for you or can’t, there’s no reason for you to feel bad about it or – for whatever reason – make this a requirement out of whoever you’re with.
3) “Marking your territory” as something anywhere near cute.
“Oh, a hickey! Perfect! Let me proudly display this badge of honor on my body for all to see so everyone knows that I just hooked up with someone who purposely bit and sucked the ever loving hell out of my neck for the fun of it. They did me such a favor, I love bae so much,” said no one ever.
4) Coordinating outfits.
In general, in life, I have no idea how matching outfits with bae became a relationship goal, but here we are, idealizing this behavior like it isn’t the creepiest/weirdest thing ever. It’s cute when it’s grandparents, or if you’re a kid and you’re matching your twin sibling, or like… if you’re on the same sports team, but this couples team spirit? Can we not?
5) Never ever fighting.
People fight! Oh my god, stop expecting zero conflict being a direct indicator of how unconditional and perfect your love is, give me a break.
6) Trying to make every day Something Super Eventful.
To be honest, this looks cute and sounds like fun, but why are we pretending this is what happens for these people every single day? “Me as a wife”? Cool, because being a wife is a lifetime commitment, so have fun making every day The Most or having a normal day makes you basic.
7) Finding everything they do extremely charming.
This was my girl's reaction to me giving her an empty box pic.twitter.com/g8Xs6L6gAD
— More Life Brax? (@AwakenBraxton) December 14, 2016
Oh, give me a break, honestly *rolls eyes so far back they get stuck there*.
8) Anything involving putting their literal face on anything you’re supposed to use.
My girl got me a blanket with my favorite picture of her on it ?❤️ I love her headass so much ??? pic.twitter.com/4dNjV73MGk
— 〽️arch 5th ? (@YaNum1DreadHead) December 31, 2016
How. And why. These blankets are the weirdest couple gift and yet they’re all over the internet as everyone’s #goals. Who thought this was a good idea?
9) Being totally obsessed with bae.
My baby blows me a kiss every time I unlock my phone pic.twitter.com/3asdLHsjs4
— daddy.chaddy⁶ (@cutiechad_) March 18, 2017
You don’t have to be totally obsessed with bae for your love to count. They don’t have to be the literal center of the world for you for you to love them. You’re allowed to have a different phone background. You don’t have to broadcast every single feeling you have about them on social media for it to be real.
10) Meeting the love of your life in high school.
People graduate high school super bummed they never met their future spouse and it’s not fair! The idea that in order to have an epic romance that really counts as truly amazing and enduring must start with you two meeting at 16 and instantly knowing the second you lock eyes is setting us all up for a very tense four years in high school. Again, there are real couples out there who make this look like the ideal version of what Should Happen, but it doesn’t happen for everyone, it’s not a requirement, and that’s fine.
11) Looking flawlessly photogenic together all the time.
If you’ve ever tried to take a nice picture with the person you’re dating, you know it won’t always look like the perfectly styled and photographed versions of couples we see all over Tumblr. Some people don’t photograph well! Do you still love them even though you can never angle a selfie the right way together or find a filter you both look good in? Of course you do. If not, you might want to, uh, work on that.
12) Wanting someone to look at you a certain way every single time they glance in your direction.
Honestly, how are you going to measure this? Have someone photograph them when you’re not looking? Do they look at you differently when they’re mad at you? How about when they’re sick? No one has to look at you overwhelmingly adoringly every single day of their life, that’s fine.
13) Being basically the same person as each other.
“Oh, they’re the ____ version of me!” Why do people want to be the same person as their significant other? Sure, they’re amazing, but aren’t there some differences? Do you want to date yourself? I don’t understand this.
14) Being together forever and ever.
The literal only way for this to ever happen are for you two to die together, and hopefully that’s not for a very long time. Either you break up or someone dies. Those are the two possible outcomes. But, the idea that you have to envision yourself with this person forever when you decide to be in a relationship is a little bit too intense to be real.
Which relationship goals do you still want to keep? Have any of these actually happened for you? Which ones do you think are the most ridiculous? Let us know in the comments!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.