As someone who has written for Gurl.com for a very long time, I am also someone who has read a whole bunch of reader questions – way too many to count, in fact. So, I feel pretty confident in saying that one of our top three questions (after “could I be pregnant?” but maybe before “does he like me?”) goes a little something like this: “What does it mean if I sexually fantasize about other girls?” Of course, it’s not always in those exact words. Sometimes it’s, “I have dreams about my best girl friend, but I don’t think I’m a lesbian. WTF?” Sometimes it’s, “Why does lesbian porn turn me on if I have a boyfriend?” and sometimes it’s, “Why do I think about girls when I’m masturbating if I like guys?” Wording aside, the message is the same: does thinking about other girls in a sexual way mean you’re actually gay?
Answering this is tricky, because of course it could mean that – but it doesn’t always mean that. You might be surprised to find out that thinking about other females in this way is very uncommon. It happens a lot, it’s just that most girls don’t really discuss it with their friends, or with anyone really. So finding some “real” answers on this was pretty interesting. Glamour spoke to a few sex experts to get answers, and I did some more research on my own. Want to know the real reason other girls turn you on sometimes? Here are a few possible options:
You're Attracted To Women In A Physical WayEven if you usually think about women when hooking up or masturbating, watch a lot of lesbian porn, and find a lot of other women attractive, you could still be straight. Some women are attracted to other women in a purely physical way. In fact, studies have shown that half of heterosexual women are attracted to other women. Researchers aren't exactly sure why, but some say it's because women are taught to have intimate bonds with other women, which can increase sexual feelings and physical attraction. If you're dreaming of dating a woman, then this might not be the reason, but if you just find yourself attracted to them? It could just be a natural thing. Source: iStock
Lesbian Porn Is More RelatableIf you find yourself searching for lesbian porn on a regular basis, don't question things - it's actually super common. In fact, a recent Pornhub study found that women are the people most commonly searching for lesbian porn. This could be because lesbian porn is often less hardcore than male and female porn. It's a little bit more gentle and can be considered less intimidating to watch. Source: iStock
Lesbian Porn Is More Focused On Female PleasureAnother reason you might love lesbian porn is that it focuses more on female pleasure and the clitoris. Porn featuring a male and female shows female orgasms, but let's face it: the focus is on the dude's pleasure. Those videos show shots that guys like to see, with close ups of a penis or some random sex position angle. Lesbian porn focuses on the things that really do turn women on - oral sex, sensual kissing, and the clitoris. Source: iStcok
It's Your Way Of Acting Out Something You're Too Scared To Do IRLSometimes, sexual fantasies don't have a reason. Other times, they kind of do. Sex therapist Vanessa Marin told Glamour that sometimes we fantasize women as stand-ins for ourselves. She said, " Fantasizing about a very sensual or sexual woman can also be a way for us to access our sexuality in a way that we don't feel confident enough doing on our own." It's basically you seeing the woman in your fantasies as you, doing thinks you're too self-conscious to ever actually do. Source: iStock
It's A Natural FeelingFairly recent studies have found that almost all women are sexually attracted to both men and women. Some researchers even say that almost all women are sexually fluid and not straight. So, being turned on about another female could just be a natural thing that you can't control. Source: iStock
Nothing... It's Just A FantasyLook all you want, but sometimes, sexual fantasies really don't mean anything. They're just fantasies! That's their purpose: an imaginary thing you think up. It doesn't always have a deeper meaning. That's even been proven by science. Source: iStock
You're A Lesbian Or BisexualOf course, thinking about other women could be a sign that you're a lesbian or bisexual. It could mean you're romantically into women, and you're suppressing those feelings. To try to figure it out, think about actually dating another woman, no sex involved. Think about being in a real relationship. If that seems less than desirable or just not like something you want, then you're probably straight. If not, maybe you aren't! Of course, it's totally, totally fine to be bisexual or a lesbian. But don't force yourself to find a label. As many people say, sexuality is fluid. Being turned on by an attractive girl does NOT always mean you have to question your sexuality immediately. Source: iStock
Do you ever think about other girls? What’s your question we haven’t answered? Share in the comments!