8 First-Timer Tips You Need For Hooking Up With Girls

When it comes to giving guys tips on hooking up with girls, it’s all, “Take your time and communicate, dummy! It’s not rocket science!” So why is it when you’re a girl about to hook up with another girl for the first time, maybe ever, you freeze up and panic about how the hell you’re supposed to do this? Especially if you’ve hooked up with guys before and totally feel fine about it, it’s normal to have first-timer nerves about having sex with a girl. Maybe you’re queer or just curious, but either way, the usual rules still apply – this isn’t rocket science and you probably know more than you think you do about having sex with girls, so just do what feels right, have fun, and stop when it’s neither of those things anymore.

The good news is that girls who have sex with each other statistically have more orgasms, so that leads me to believe that you’re probably in good hands, even if you want to hook up with someone else who’s also never had sex with a girl before. Even so, I know this looks like it should be a no-brainer but may actually feel like a ton of pressure to perform. Well, welcome to how straight guys probably feel a ton of the time! Thankfully, there are some first-timer tips on hooking up with another girl that will help you survive. Who knows, you might even have a great time!


What Works On You Won't Always Be What Works On Her

If you think hooking up with girls is as easy as "I'll just do what works for me on auto-pilot," think again. If she gives you criticism, don't take it personally, it just means she doesn't like what works for you because she's her own person who has her own thing going on. Everyone has different sensitivity levels. Just because you're rougher with your clit doesn't mean you can just go and mash hers around - it might be super sensitive! Same thing goes for boobs, too. Pressure levels and spots where you're ticklish vary from person to person, and hooking up isn' an easy copy-paste job. Everyone is different and not all girls like the same thing. Just take a note and keep going.

Source: iStock

Everything Is Going To Be A Lot Softer

This isn't to say that girls are weak or that we're inherently more dainty, but if you're used to hooking up with guys, you're probably used to throwing your full body weight around with them and not worrying too much about hurting them or making them uncomfortable. I don't care how big or muscular a girl is, everything is going to be softer in surprising ways. This isn't to say that you can't be rough, but it's just going to look a different way. Keep that in mind when you hook up so you aren't thrown for a loop and get suddenly self conscious. Nothing's wrong - you're both girls!

Source: iStock

Remember That Everyone Looks Way Different Down There

Oh my god, do you know just how different vulvas can be? Yeah, we all have the same basic parts, but it's a little less straightforward than a penis. So, do you know what *you* look like down there? I'm sure we all can point to a clit on a health class diagram, but when it comes to encountering another vagina IRL, don't judge yourself if you suddenly freeze up because that's not what you, personally, look like. Thankfully, you're probably more in the know than someone who doesn't have a vagina, but since everyone's vulva is designed differently, that'll effect how you touch it and everything else that goes with it when you hook up.

Source: iStock

Oral Is Your Friend, Not Your Enemy

I think oral sex is what most people freak out about when they hook up with girls for the first time. This is the quickest, easiest way to find out what she likes and what she doesn't so just relax. Don't try any weird porn tricks, take it slow, make it more than about more than clitoral stimulation, and maybe get your hands involved. Thankfully, receiving oral sex is a generally enjoyable experience, so you're not taxing anyone by hanging out down there and rolling with some trial and error.

Source: iStock

Keep Your Toys In The Drawer

Spoilers: you don't need penetration for it to count as sex. Especially on your first time with someone, just be with them without getting some toys involved. If you're nervous, hooking up alone is going to be nerve-wracking so you really don't need to involve wrestling with strap-on or trying to put a vibrator between you so you both feel it. Keep it just between two people having a good time together, then once you're okay with that, then you can maybe introduce some fun toys to the mix. You have to walk before you run, right?

Source: iStock

Tell Your Brain To STFU

This is more intuitive than you think it is! So tell your brain to shut up! You're bound to have nerves, worrying, and anxiety come up if this is a first time experience. But, your body knows what it's doing just like it knows how to dance or swim, meaning that the less you think about those things, the better you tend to do at them. No one is perfect straight away, but you're probably a lot better than you're giving yourself credit for, your brain's just being a huge jerk.

Source: iStock

Forgive Yourself For Any Weirdness

Weird stuff happens all the time when you hook up with someone, so it's definitely going to happen now! That's fine, just don't judge yourself for accidentally pinning someone to the bed by their hair, stopping in the middle to grab a ponytail holder, or putting your body in a weird position and having your arm fall asleep. Roll with the punches and don't demand earth-shattering sex the first time you do this and you'll still wind up having a good time.

Source: iStock

For The Love Of God, Cut Your Nails

If you aren't clear yet on why the stereotype exists about lesbians having short nails, here's why. If you're having sex with girls (surprise!) your hands are about to become super involved! You don't want to scratch anyone, especially down there, so trim your nails if you care about the person you're hooking up with. It's common courtesy.

Source: iStock

Have you ever hooked up with a girl? Do you have any tips of your own for doing it? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.

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