15 Weird Things You Notice When You Masturbate

There are a lot of quotes about how life is about obstacles, fun, and hard work, but I would also like to create a quote that says life is about distractions. Just think about the number of times, you’ve went to do something and some sort of distraction got in the way? (It doesn’t matter if you got distracted yourself or something else interrupted you.) Distractions happen at the most random, ridiculous times and that includes when you’re masturbating.

Distractions while you’re masturbating can range from your phone beeping to listening for the front door to open and your parents to come in the house. Then there are those distractions that happen in your mind. You might be mid-stroke then suddenly remember the answer to that science question. Or maybe you might suddenly get a brilliant idea about what to get bae for his/her birthday. Then there are those little things that you will notice that will distract you.

I have previously written about random things you notice while having sex, while doing butt stuff, and while giving a blowjob. This week, it’s all about masturbation. Check out these weird things that you will notice when you masturbate.

1. The feel of your fingertips.


I didn’t know my fingers got that wrinkly after a shower.


2. That little hangnail on your one finger.




3. Every single creak of the house.


Is that someone coming?!


4. The weird sound all of that rubbing makes.


Who said that friction was silent?


5. How loud your vibrator is.


Is there a silent option? The entire house can probably hear this!


6. The feel of your legs seizing up.


Time. To. Switch. Positions.


7. Every little thing in your room that could be used for *pleasure.*


The corner of the bed has never looked so good. Ditto for that pillow.


8. How breezy it is down there.

Source: giphy

Is there a draft in this room that I have never noticed before?


9. A weird tingling in your wrist.

beach touching

Note to self: Stop masturbating at such an awkward angle.


10. The squeaks of your mattress.




11. That one random hair down there.


Stop twisting around my finger, please and thank you.


12.Your sudden urge to go to the bathroom.


But I just went! And I didn’t even have anything to drink.


13. The length and shape of your nails.


Note to self: Keep nails short and less pointy.


14. How flushed your face is getting.


Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?


15. The way your back aches.

legally blonde bend and snap

Probably should put a pillow under there…


What other random things do you notice when you’re masturbating? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.


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