I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say that, on the whole, most people feel pretty shy around the people they like. (You know, like, like like.) Sure, there are those (annoying, IMO) people who somehow find a way to feel comfortable around anyone, and, as a result, have no problem whatsoever blurting out their deepest, darkest secrets to anyone from their friends to their teachers to their crush, but, on the whole, being around someone you like tends to raise your shyness quota by at least twenty percent. So, if you’re already shy on top of the additional shyness that comes from being around your crush? Forget it.
But not actually! There is good news here, and it is that you don’t actually have to let being shy impede you from telling your crush you like them. You don’t have to tell them you like them, obviously, but if you’ve been wanting to tell someone you like them for a while, but feel like you’ll probably die if you do such a thing, relax. As someone who happens to be moderately-to-severely shy, and once accidentally told their crush that their ideal tattoo would be a potato on the ankle (which wasn’t even true), I can tell you that there are ways to tell your crush you like them without feeling like your internal organs are about to shrivel up and fall out of your body. Promise! So, check out these easy ways to tell your crush you like them if you’re shy:
Practice What You're Going To SayOne of the biggest impediments to telling someone you like them is working yourself up, walking up to them, and realizing that you have no idea what to actually say. The solution? Practice beforehand! You don't have to make an actual written-out script, obviously, and you don't have to practice absolutely everything you're going to say. Just think of a few things you'd be comfortable saying to your crush (you can run it by a friend if you aren't sure if it'll work or not) so you don't have an excuse the next time you want to approach them. Image source: iStock
Build Up To ItAnother thing to consider is your current relationship with your crush. Are you good friends? Acquaintances? Total strangers? If you're more on the "strangers" side than anything else, you might want to build up the relationship a little bit before you actually confess your true feelings to them. This doesn't have to be that hard or complicated, either. Introduce yourself in a class you have together or get a mutual friend to introduce you. And if you're already friends, just work on strengthening that friendship--text them, ask to hang out IRL, be a good listener when you're talking. This way, you'll both feel more comfortable if you decide to tell them that you like them. Image source: iStock
Text ThemReally feel like you're not up to confessing your feelings IRL? Just tell them over text. Now, this is something you should only do if you already have an established texting relationship--like, don't ask your friend for your crush's number just so you can tell them you like them--but it definitely gets the job done. I wouldn't recommend doing this as your main tactic--there is nothing more anxiety-inducing than telling someone you like them through a text and not getting a response right away--but if you just need to get your feelings off your chest and feel like this is the only way you can do it, go for it. Image source: iStock
Build Up A Social Media RelationshipThe easiest way to let someone know that you like them without actually telling them is through social media. This does not mean that you should randomly slide into someone's DMs--I mean, you can, but it's kind of weird without context--but, instead, start liking their pictures, tweets, statuses, whatever. Add them on Snapchat if you haven't already. You don't want to make it an exclusively online relationship--you don't want to be the person who hits on someone through the DMs but won't look at them IRL--but this is a simple way to demonstrate some interest without making too much effort. Image source: iStock
Bring A FriendIf you get super clammy and fidgety and sometimes forget how to talk when you're around your crush, bring a friend along to act as a buffer. Now, you want to make sure that this is a friend you can trust--not one that will suddenly turn into a comedian -but the presence of a good friend can make you feel more comfortable and, as a result, make it easier to be your most brilliant and charming self. Image source: iStock
Get A Friend To Tell ThemOkay, so this method can be dicey. If you get a friend to tell their friend to tell the friend of your crush that you like them, or something like that, things will almost certainly get lost in translation. But if you have a direct line of communication to your crush, it's not the worst thing in the world to get someone to pass on your message for you--they'll most likely tell your friend an honest answer, and your friend can pass it on to you as they see fit. (Again--don't do this if you have any Regina George-type friends who would say that they're going to set you up with your crush, but actually just hook up with them. Use your best judgment!) Image source: iStock
Understand Your Own LimitsYou know yourself better than I know you, so you know what you can and can't do. Don't build social parameters around yourself just because they make you feel safe, obviously, but if the thought of telling your crush you like them in any sense makes you feel like you're going to break out in hives (or, you know, actually break out in hives), don't force yourself to do it. Just do whatever you can do--like saying hey to them in the hallway when you'd normally just scurry away or asking them to be your partner in math class--even if it doesn't feel like a big deal. It's definitely better than nothing and can help you build up to a bigger act. Image source: iStock
Just Do ItI know, I know--this is annoying advice. If you could just do it, you already would have done it. I get it. But while thinking about telling your crush you like them as a multi-step process can make it easier to tackle, it can also make it more complicated. The worst thing that can happen if you tell your crush that you like them is that they don't like you back. And, yeah, this sucks, but sometimes having a definitive answer is significantly better than pining away for your crush and wondering if they just so much happen to like you back. So, if you can, try not to overthink it. Just do it. I promise you'll feel better afterwards. Image source: iStock
Are you shy? Do you have any good tips for flirting in spite of this? Let us know in the comments!