7 Telltale Signs You’re Too Invested In Your Crush

If you have ever had a crush on someone, you probably already know that, in the beginning at least, it’s pretty fun. It’s fun trying to spot them in school. It’s fun texting your friends about them. It’s fun having new fodder for daydreams. It’s just, you know, fun all around.

After some time in this new crush stage (which could be anywhere from two days to, like, two years, depending on how speedy your crush transitions happen to be), there are about three options as as to what might happen next. First, you might just stop liking them altogether. Or, you could find that they like you too, start dating, and, possibly, get married and stay together forever. Or, of course, it’s possible that your once-fun crush lingers long enough so it is… not so fun anymore. You know, like, those crushes that just don’t go away despite knowing that they aren’t good for you or you aren’t good for them, which, as a result, makes it ferment to the point where it is physically painful to like this person and you aren’t even sure why you like them anymore, you just know that you do. A lot.

Now, when this happens, it usually can’t be helped. You can’t dictate who you like and when you like them and exactly how much you like them, so when you get a crush like this, it’s usually best to just ride it out. Still, it’s good to know when a crush has reached near-parasitic levels of intensity in your body so you can at least know what’s going on with you. So, check out these signs that you’re way too invested in your crush:


They're Pretty Much All You Think About

I mean, this is basically all you need to know. If your crush is on your mind when you wake up in the morning, when you go to bed at night, and pretty much every other minute throughout the day, this is a pretty sure sign that your crush has veered a little towards the "obsessive" side. Can you control your thoughts? No. Can you just magically decide to stop liking someone instantly? Of course not. But you can try to be aware of how much you're thinking about your crush so you can be realistic about what your status is.

Image source: Archie

Your Friends Have Told You To Chill

Do your friends kind of, like, roll their eyes when you bring up your crush? Do they change the subject? Do they suggest that you should maybe find someone new to like? If so, this might be their way of telling you, gently, that you're talking about your crush waaayyy too much. You might not realize it because, you know, you like talking about your crush, but for other people it's a pretty telltale sign that you're obsessed. And not really in a good way. Of course, you know your friends better than I do. If you know they are the type to manipulate you and your feelings for no good reason, feel free to go on liking your crush. (Also, feel free to get some new friends.) But if you know your friends love and support you (as they should) listen to their advice.

Image source: Princess Diaries

Their Social Media Actions Determine How You Feel That Day

As in, if they throw you a like on Instagram, you're happy for the whole day. But if, for whatever reason, they don't like the selfie you put up during a time you knew they'd be looking at Instagram (not that you've stalked their class schedule or internet history, or anything), it makes you mopey until the next time they like something of yours on social media. This is not an indictment! It is borderline impossible not to get caught up in likes-based validation, particularly the validation from the likes that come from a crush. But it's also important to try to not to attribute a ton of meaning to stuff your crush does on social media. In most cases, a like or an absence of a like both mean the same thing--nothing. Basically, don't internalize your Instagram. It's not worth it.

Image source: Girls

You Like Things Because They Like Them

They like the British version of The Office, so you like the British version of The Office, even though Ricky Gervais is not and never will be your thing. They think everyone should read Infinite Jest, so you've started to read Infinite Jest, but at this point, you're pretty certain there's no way they've actually read it. They hate Lana Del Rey, so you hate Lana Del Rey, even though you had a poster of her in your room until, like, five minutes ago, when you found out they didn't like her. Of course, there are worse things a person could be than interested in the world and the things in it, so this isn't 100% horrible. If a crush is the impetus behind you discovering your next favorite band or TV show, they have more than served their purpose.  But if you find that you're casting off things that you genuinely like to get your crush's attention, or switching up interests from crush to crush, or liking things performatively even though you secretly hate them, this isn't great. It's not worth taking on someone else's interests in order to get their attention.

Image source: My So-Called Life

You Know Incriminating Info About Them And You Still Like Them

Maybe they cheated off of you on a math exam and they got caught so you both got in trouble. Maybe they dated one of your friends and treated them poorly. Maybe they are dating someone else entirely, which is not incriminating evidence per se, but shouldn't exactly encourage you to like someone. Of course, there is something to be said for looking beyond rumors and loving someone for who they really are. But if you know some cold, hard, substantiated facts about someone that make them decidedly sketchy, and you still like them, check yourself. Would you condone one of your good friends liking this person? If not, try and think about what you can do to minimize your crush.

Image source: Cry-Baby

You're Distracted In School

It's possible that thoughts of your crush might become so pervasive that you full-on can't concentrate in school. This is not good! It's normal if you have a class with them, so you put on some lip gloss before you go in, and maybe get some butterflies in your stomach if they look your way, but it shouldn't be an all-day distraction. Basically, if your crush is making your grades go down,  try and talk to someone else about it so your GPA won't be  totally screwed.

Image source" Clueless

You Dream About Them A Lot

Now, a dream--which is basically just a mental regurgitation of your thoughts and experiences--doesn't necessarily mean anything big. If you have a sexy dream about, say, your teacher or your boss or something, this doesn't mean that you actually want to do sexy things with them. But if you're having a lot of dreams about your crush--ones in which you're dating, kissing, or, uh, more--and the first thing you feel when you wake up in the morning is crushing disappointment when you realize that it wasn't real, this is a sign that your crush is consuming your thoughts, and subsequently, your dreams. You can't control your dreams! But try to think of something else before you go to bed.

Image source: Breakfast At Tiffany's

Do you think you have a crush that might be too intense right now? Do you have any tips for dealing with it? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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