I don’t care what anyone says, having a crush sucks. The only thing that’s worse than having a crush you can’t control is having a crush on a friend. We’ve probably been on both sides of the story, even if we don’t realize it: the one with the crush on a friend, and the one who’s friend has a crush on her. We’ve already talked about what to do if you like a friend… but how do you know if a friend likes you in a romantic way? When you’re in a solidly platonic relationship, it’s easy to ignore the signs that your friend likes you, but trust me, they’re there. You just need to know what yo look for.
Whether you want to purse the romantic relationship or not, it’s always good to be able to tell if your buddy like likes you. An unrequited crush like this can throw off the dynamic of your friendship or friend group, and turn into a seriously awkward situation quickly. If you’re not into this person, you can decide what you want to do with this information. But maybe you have a crush on them too! In that case, you will definitely want to know the truth! So, instead of bringing it up or thinking about it constantly, let’s figure it out. Here are some definite signs your friend has a crush on you.
The Hugs Are Very Um... Intense"Hugging someone is pretty much the most platonic thing you can do with someone you only like as a friend," you might think. Then you get one of those deep, lingering hugs, more like they're holding you instead of properly hugging you and you think to yourself, "Okay, that was a bit much," and you'd be totally right. Your friend definitely has a crush on you. When you have a crush on someone it's very hard to keep your chill and reign it in even when it comes to the most simple, friendly things in the world like a hug. Congrats, these hugs now have a ton of loaded meaning. Source: iStock
The Tension Is Building, And Not Always In A Sexual WayWhen you refuse to acknowledge sexual or romantic tension, it can quickly turn into big fits about little things, intense hurt feelings, controlling behavior... you know, stereotypical couples' fights, except you two aren't a couple. They don't know how to express their real feelings, so those come out in different ways, leading to some awkward conversations or arguments that make you wonder WTF just happened. I know this plays into the whole "if this person fights with you, it means they like you" awful trope, but as someone who wrecked a perfectly good friendship with this exact thing, it definitely happens. Source: iStock
They Have To Be Close To YouWhether it's being close to you in a group situation, needing to be right next to you for group pictures (hello, to crop everyone else out so it's just you two), or scrambling to be in the same car as you if your crew is all going somewhere - this person needs to be close to you no matter what. Even if they're weird, nervous wrecks, being close to you is way better than not knowing what you're thinking and feeling all the time, so they obviously need to be the first to know so they have to be right there next to you to witness everything.Source: iStock
Their Behavior Suddenly Changed Around YouFor better or for worse, your friend has gone from the person you know and love to someone who's a total jerk and brags constantly about themselves or someone who's suddenly shy around you... or they might even freak out and stop talking to you all together. There's been a sudden, abrupt change in how this person acts around you and you have no idea what brought this on. Here's a hint: their feelings for you are making them do some weird stuff because they're either trying to impress you or actively seem like they DON'T like you as to cover up the heart-eyes they feel whenever they're around you. This is the worst, and I'm sorry if it happens to be true, but it could be a clear sign your friend totally has a crush on you.Source: iStock
They Hardly Have Lasting Relationships Or Serious CrushesNothing beyond a passing crush, casual hook up, or a girlfriend they dump within two months happens for your friend. And why would it? None of these girls are you! So what's the point? They don't take any of these flings too seriously, but they make sure to have them just so no one gets suspicious. Conscious or unconscious, this is a pretty key clue if your friend has a crush. This goes double if this person claims they "don't have time" to be in a relationship, but somehow always make time for you. Yup, we all caught that one, buddy. Nice try.Source: iStock
They're Either Very Invested In Your Love Life or Not Interested At AllThis could go one of two ways. One way: your friend is totally invested in every detail about your love life. They ask about your crush or bae every time they can. They talk about how cute you guys are. They want to get to know them. They have a lot of thoughts about your relationship. They talk about it a lot. Sound weird? Yeah, but it could be their way of keeping tabs on what's going on, so they know when they might have a chance. OR they're trying to convince themselves that you're off limits in their own way. Two: they have zero interest in your love life, or they seem weird whenever it gets brought up. They don't seem to like your crush or significant other for no real reason, and they try to downplay everything they do - or they find reasons to bring them down. They might also act like the person doesn't exist, or blow you off whenever you talk about them. They're jealous, and they don't know how to deal. Source: iStock
They Lay It On Thick With The ComplimentsThey compliment you so much that it's almost extra. In a group, they have to make sure they got the last word in when it comes to praising you. They go beyond looks, too. You don't tell your friends that you have such a good time hanging out with them because that's a given, but this person feels the need to tell you for some reason because you're so fun and easy to talk to, you know? They compliment you about everything in a way that your other friends just don't. Source: iStock
They're Extra Protective Of YouNo guy is ever good enough for you, if anyone disagrees with you then they must be stupid, and no one understands how cool and truly awesome you are. They don't like to see you upset or get treated less than how they think you should be treated. And what friend wouldn't? Well, this friend who definitely has feelings for you goes after it with such an intensity that it comes off as territorial and excessive. Beyond sticking up for you, they get very protective even when you don't want them to or they accidentally make it awkward for you.Source: iStock
Everyone Else Makes Jokes About You Two DatingIt's because they're seeing something you clearly can't! Everyone in your friend group that has eyes and can read social cues can sense that at least one of you has a thing for the other person and they aren't shy about teasing you for it. And you insist that it isn't a thing, even though that doesn't make it less true. It sounds silly, but I have two friends who couldn't see it and got teased for it until they decided to give it a shot... and now they're married with a baby on the way, so you figure it out. It's could be worth it! Giving in to teasing never feels good, but who knows?Source: iStock
Do you think your friend has a crush on you? Or are they just being weird? Do you do any of these things? Let us know in the comments!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.