We’ve all been there: one day you and bae are picture-perfect #RelationshipGoals, and the next you realize something is totally off. They’re still technically the same person, but something just… doesn’t feel right. Are you about to get dumped? To be honest, probably. There are little signs that you’re about to get dumped that we all are told to ignore or not address because that means we’re being “paranoid.” The truth is, if you feel like something’s gone awry, it probably has. When something’s wrong, a red flag inside of you gets piqued and you’re immediately on guard – but how do you know if you’re being dramatic, or if something really is wrong?
Don’t actively look for something to be wrong, but in general, I’d trust your hunch that something’s up with bae. The stereotype of a girl being crazy and needy when she’s in a relationship actively prevents people from speaking up about our feelings for fear of becoming a sexist statistic. Trust your intuition. Something might be about to go down and you should prepare yourself because these are eight signs that you’re about to get dumped. Unless you want to break up with them first. Do what you want, girl, but don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
Their Personality Just Changed Very QuicklyA personality change doesn't always mean a negative personality change. Sure, people turn into raging, possessive jerks all of a sudden out of nowhere, but many breakups come from someone's extreme dedication to self improvement... including getting rid of relationships that aren't working. Maybe they've started getting really into fitness and healthy eating seemingly out of nowhere, or maybe they have developed an all-encompassing obsession with a new group of friends. A positive change like this one can make them re-think the direction their life is headed, and yes, that might just include you. Source: iStock
You Talk Way LessIf you guys used to talk 24/7 and, suddenly, you started talking considerably less, something might be up. If they fall off the face of the earth for days at a time or only reach out to you when you're planning something, not to talk because you know... that's what people in relationships DO, it might be a sign that you're about to get dumped. Being withdrawn and therefore communicating less could indicate that they're having some serious thoughts about your relationship, faking it feels awful, and they only really want to get into a conversation once they figure out what they want. A rapid decrease in communication is a sure indicator that someone's having second thoughts.Source: iStock
They're More Themselves Without YouNothing sucks like knowing this to be true. When they're with their friends or family, bae is their perfect shining, sparkly self, but when they're with you, you both kind of know they'd rather be somewhere else. It's not that they're lifeless without you, they're just more themselves with other people and that totally sucks. Maybe they even go so far as to tell you this (happened to me) which may be worse. Something's off and it doesn't necessarily matter who's fault it is, just that it's out there in the open. Since this dynamic is supposed to work in the opposite direction, your relationship breaking up might not be totally uncalled for, in this case.Source: iStock
You Only Have Small Talk ConversationsIt's not that every conversation with bae has to be deep and meaningful, but it should go beyond inane small talk. If it's not, sounds like a sign that you two are trying real hard not to talk about more pressing issues. Meaningful conversations, the ability to be vulnerable, or just the possibility of some depth that's unique to you two should come into play when you think of talking to your person about something. When you exclusively have conversations you could basically have with anyone else, you're not wrong in thinking something's up.Source: iStock
You Should Have Moved To The Next Level By NowWhether it's moving from the "talking" phase to actually dating, the move to use the labels boyfriend or girlfriend, say "I love you" or be in a serious relationship, if you've been hovering in one stage of dating without moving on to the next one even though it definitely feels like you should, it's probably a sign that one of you just doesn't want to and the other person is probably going to get dumped as a result. Staying in one level too long is going to make someone tap out. Being stagnant in a relationship is never a good thing or a good sign that things are going well.Source: iStock
You Two Stopped Making Future Plans TogetherConcerts, parties, events anywhere two months in the future? Forget it. It's all about the here and now! If you're used to making plans with bae - because of course they're going to go with you - and now all of a sudden you just aren't? They might be protecting themselves from being roped into an event with someone they definitely plan on breaking it off with in the future. Movie dates are no problem, but promising to go hang with you and your family on that long weekend coming up? Probably going to pass on that one, as a mercy... but also as insurance. Oops.Source: iStock
The Sex Is Routine And Not Even GoodIn defense of routine sex, it usually comes out of two people knowing each other well enough to know what works, so high fives, everybody! However, if the sex has become both routine and totally checked-out and phoned in because one of you isn't present or connected, something's probably up. I'm not saying that cheating has happened, even though that's the conclusion everyone jumps to, but you aren't connecting the way you're used to and if the sex has gone sour, chances are, other elements of your relationship will as well. Just a heads up.Source: iStock
You Feel It In Your GutYou don't need logic, reason, or signs to validate that sinking pit in your stomach that's telling you something's not right. It's a cliche because it's true: when you know, you know. Something changed between you two, you can't put your finger on it, but somehow every time you kiss feels like it might be the last time you do that. It sucks, there's no way around it. People will tell you you're being paranoid, but only you know when the dynamic is fundamentally disrupted and when there's no coming back from it. I'm sorry, it sucks, and we've all unfortunately been there. Source: iStock
Did you ever get dumped? Did one of these signs tip you off? Have you ever gotten suspicious? Let us know in the comments!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.