Flirting with your crush is tough enough on its own. Flirting with a guy friend who is also your crush? It’s even more tough. When you’ve already developed a strictly platonic relationship with someone, it can be hard to cross over to the other side – the more romantic side. How do you show a guy friend that you like like them when you already spend time joking around, talking, and hanging out? How do you make it clear that you want more out of your relationship without freaking them out, scaring them away, and then losing them completely? Figuring out the answers can feel impossible!
When I was younger, I had a big crush on one of my guy friends. We were close and hung out almost every day, but I couldn’t get myself to tell him how I felt. I attempted flirting with him, but tbh with you guys, I sucked at it. So, I started pretending that I didn’t like him and was only interested in being friends. A few months later, my best friend started dating him. It was not fun for me!
I don’t want you to be in that situation. I know that it can seem scary to try to flirt with your guy friend – you don’t want to mess everything up and you have no idea how he’ll react. But it’s always worth a try, especially with the right tips in the back of your mind. Since the time of my failed flirting, I have gotten (a little) better at it. So, I’ll share some advice with you! Here are some ways to flirt with your guy friend so that he gets the freakin’ hint. Good luck!
Send Cute Snapchats/Like His SelfiesFlirting with your best guy friend IRL can be tough, especially if you have already established a jokey/fun/flirty type of bond. Take things a step further by taking advantage of social media. Ready to make a bold move? Snapchat a cute selfie and send it only to him rather than putting it on your story. And no, I'm not suggesting you send over nudes (it's just... not a good idea), but something more innocent: maybe a picture of you making a funny face, or a photo of you with something you guys share an interest in, like your favorite TV show or something. If thinking about doing that is making you break out in hives, take baby steps. Like his photos on Instagram and/or Facebook, and leave a comment with a cute emoji. Sounds silly, but it might start to catch his attention. Source: iStock
Seek Them Out When In A Group Without Being SuffocatingIf you guys have a group of mutual friends and usually end up hanging out with everyone, start showering him with a little bit more attention. This shouldn't mean that you're glued to his side the entire time - you don't want to be suffocating, because that can be needy and, tbh, pretty annoying. But you also want him to know that you want to spend time with him. Make it a point of saying hello, start up a conversation, hang by his side for a while, and try to engage in some kind of private convo between just the two of you. At the same time, make sure you talk to other people and move around a bit, if that makes sense. Then, if you're across the room from him, you can always catch his eye quickly and smile. Source: iStock
Try Jokey FlirtingIf you guys are good friends, then maybe you already have a kind of jokey rapport, which is great. Bring it another level and make it jokey flirting. I realize this phrase sounds weird, but I don't know what else to call it! Basically, don't take the flirting too seriously and have fun with it. Make fun of each other in a loving way, joke around, laugh, and say suggestive comments that aren't in-your-face sexual. Or make them bold! Up to you! Source: iStock
Compliment HimCompliments can go a long way, especially when you're trying to step up a level in your relationship. If you're nervous about doing this, don't be. The key is to make it kind of casual with a hint of something more - which sounds like such a lame dating game, but just trust me! You don't need to go up to him and tell him that you love his face or that he has the best smile in the world (although, if you're confident enough to do that, then please go for it!). You can start off small by saying something like, "You're so funny! You always make me laugh." Then try something like, "Is that a new shirt? It looks awesome!" If you're getting good vibes off of this, move on to something like, "I love the color of your eyes" or "You look so cute today." Feel it out, see how it goes, and play off of that. Don't feel like you have to follow a script - just go by what comes naturally. Source: iStock
Touch Him MoreThis is the number one dating rule for a reason - it works. I know you're probably sick of hearing it, but this is something you definitely need to try if you want to show your dude friend that you like him as more than just a friend. Touching is an easy way to make it clear that you're flirting without being weird about it, and it also brings more of an electric connection to your relationship. Again, you don't need to go overboard by cuddling against him out of nowhere, or squeezing his muscles as if you're in a teen movie from the '90s (but, again, do it if you want!). You can start off slow by simply brushing your hand against his arm when it feels right, or touching his shoulder and leaning in a bit if you're talking to each other. If it feels right, move on to slightly more intimate moves, like hugging him when you see him, or leaning against him lightly when watching a movie. Source: iStock
Show Interest By Asking Him QuestionsOne way to flirt more is to show obvious interest in the guy. Asking questions about his life is a great way to do this, especially if you feel shy and awkward about doing things like touching and complimenting. Don't turn things into a game of 20 questions, but just inquire about his life more. Ask things that are relevant to whatever conversation you're having, then really listen and respond back. People like when someone shows them attention in this way, so it's definitely something he'll notice and probably enjoy. Source: iStock
Be Aware Of Your Body LanguageBody language is another essential part of flirting. If you're hanging with him, but you're not facing him, you have your arms crossed, you're hunched over, and you can't make eye contact... well, nothing about that is screaming, "I LIKE YOU" to anyone. Be more open. Look him in the eye when you guys are talking. Face him without holding your arms in front of your body in some way. Smile more. Just be aware of what your body is doing. Source: iStock
Say Something More Bold Via TextSometimes modern technology can really be a lifesaver, and in the case of shy flirting, that statement is so, so true. If you really want to make some sort of flirting move, but you're way too freaked out to do it in person, do it through a text or social media message. It's a good way to say something more bold because you have time to craft the statement, as well as your response to HIS response. And if it falls flat? At least you can wince through the pain on your own instead of in front of him. Source: iStock
Stop Talking About Other Crushes In Front Of HimIf you guys are close friends, chances are good that you've each talked about other crushes or people you think are cute in front of each other. Cool! But, you should probably stop doing that if you like him. Contrary to popular belief, actively trying to make him jealous by telling him how you think that dude in English is sooooo hot isn't going to work. It's going to make him think, "Man, I am definitely in the friend zone over here." Source: iStock
Adjust The Way You Act Or Look Around Him, But Not DrasticallyOkay, so before you scream at me for this advice, hear me out! You 100 percent should not completely change the way you act around this dude. He's your good friend for a reason - he likes you and your personality. Changing who you are isn't the right move. Think of this as a '90s teen movie, where the star changes up her whole look and personality to show her friend she likes him, he's intrigued, but then it doesn't work out. When she's like, "WTF?" he's like, "I liked you for who you were." See what I'm saying here? Changing everything won't help. That said, let me get to the point. Try to change SOMETHING when you hang out with him. Put on an outfit that makes you feel confident and awesome. Wear makeup that makes you feel like a total superstar. Be more flirty instead of just passive. Touch him more instead of avoiding him. Stuff like that. Small changes might make him think, "Hm, something's different here..." and that's when you flirt! Source: iStock
Do you have a crush on one of your guy friends? Which flirting tip are you going to try? Share in the comments!