7 Of The Most Unsanitary Things That Happen During Sex

When you’re doing sexy stuff with a partner, you might be worrying about STDs, or pregnancy, or being able to properly bring someone to orgasm (hell, or whether your partner can bring YOU to orgasm). What you probably aren’t too pressed about are little things like, say, hygiene. Honestly, for the most part, you don’t have to sweat that kind of stuff. People put their mouths and orifices in all kinds of, er, bacteria prone places when they’re getting it on. It’s not like I’m going to encourage anyone to stop having oral sex because putting your mouth on someone’s bits is germy. I mean, there are probably a lot more nefarious germs on your cell phone, but you touch that all the time without a second thought. If you’re going to be a proper germaphobe, you might as well go big or go home, right?

But here’s the thing: Sex still can be a bacteria minefield, which, at best, makes for some fun facts; at worst, it can lead to some nasty, preventable infections. Check out these seven unsanitary things that can happen during sex, from the things you can shrug off, to the things you absolutely cannot.

Eating The Booty Like Groceries

Wanna eat the booty like groceries? Well, go for it, but be aware that unless you use protection like a dental dam or a a condom, you’re putting yourself at risk for ingesting a whole host of bacteria, from e coli (thanks, poop!) to intestinal parasites. Weirdly enough, you’re at less risk of getting sick if you’re feasting (I’m sorry) on the booty of someone you’re in a monogamous relationship with because—get this—your anal flora is similar. Anyway, don’t let this detract you, just be aware that these risks are real and consider cleaning very thoroughly down there if you’re engaging in any activity in that general area. Oh, and make sure you and/or your partner doesn’t go from booty eating to vag eating because that can lead to infection.


Not Washing Your Hands Before Masturbating

Let’s cut to the chase: Your hands are gross. You touch so many things all day long—from your phone, to desks, to door handles, etc—and you barely ever wash your hands. All that bacteria could lead to an infection down there if you touch your bits. So please, wash your hands before goin’ to town.

The To-Do List

Having Plain Ol' Sex

So, this is gross, but here we go: There’s a reason why you’re supposed to pee after having sex: Urinating helps flush the urethra of any bacteria that might have collected while getting it on. Otherwise, you’re leaving yourself vulnerable to a UTI. You want to know what bacteria can give you a UTI during sex? Our good ol’ friend e coli, which can be found in feces. So basically, butt stuff bacteria manages to make its way to your urethra when you’re having sex, and that can cause everything down there to freak out. Please, go to the bathroom after you do it. Better safe than sorry…and chugging cranberry juice.


Not Disinfecting Your Vibrator/Dildo/Strap On

You should sanitize any sex toy you use with a mild cleanser and water after you use it. Period. If you’re lazy (please, don’t be), at least clean it thoroughly before using it again. Look, it doesn’t matter if it looks clean or if you don’t even use it for penetration purposes. Your vagina is full of both good and bad bacteria, and putting something that isn’t sanitized (and potentially covered in vintage vag bacteria) back into your vagina is bacterial unbalance just waiting to happen.

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Producing 'Truffle Butter'

Remember when Drake, Nicki Minaj, and Lil’ Wayne came out with that song called “Truffle Butter” a few years back? Okay, well, do you know what truffle butter actually means in the context in which they’re rapping about? Well, if you don’t, let me tell you: Truffle butter is the result of anally penetrating someone with a vagina and then penetrating said vagina. The idea is that, er, leftover feces from the anus would mix with semen, resulting in a light brown color…which one would imagine would resemble the color of actual truffle butter. First of all, ew. Second of all, THAT IS SO EFFING UNSANITARY. Never—and I mean never—go from penetrating the anus to penetrating the vagina. That’s a bacteria hell hole waiting to happen and could lead to vaginal infections. Please, if you must do both, clean yourself off inbetween.


Putting Your Mouth Anywhere

Hey, here’s a fun and disgusting fact: Your mouth is home to over 500 unique types of bacteria, which you’re happily swapping whenever you hook up or go down on your partner. Honestly, plenty of that bacteria is absolutely harmless, so you really don’t have to be too worried. Still…blech.

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Not Cleaning That Peen

Hooking up with someone who isn’t circumcised? The head of their penis might collect more bacteria than people who are circumcised (thanks, foreskin!). So make sure your partner, er, washes up down there before sticking it into any of your orifices. Might as well be as clean as possible, you know?

My Mad Fat Diary

Which of these things grosses you out the most? Tell us in the comments!

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