If there is one thing in this world that is all but guaranteed to incite a deeply-rooted sigh of annoyance for a large group of people, it would be, I think, the concept of inspirational quotes. I don’t know why this would be the kind of thing you are trying to achieve, of course, but think about it–when was the last time you heard or saw the phrase “hang in there” or “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” and actually took it to heart and felt genuinely, well, inspired? Exactly.
Of course, you probably like inspirational quotes more than you think you do–the good ones are cleverly disguised on whimsical posters and Twitter threads, and chances are good that you have enjoyed at least one of these on at least one occasion. I myself have been known to dabble in the odd inspirational quote from time to time; and, indeed, I am not even against the overall concept of inspirational quotes. One must take their inspiration wherever they can get it, whether it’s from a random text post on Tumbr, the poster at the back of your 900-year-old English teacher’s room, or where I like to find it–Lisa Vanderpump’s Instagram account. What I am against, however, are so-called inspirational quotes that, if you stop to think about them, don’t really hold up. Like, at all. Today, I have decided to choose some of the worst offenders–because, even if they don’t technically make any sense, they are pretty funny. So, check out these supposedly inspirational best friend-based BFF quotes that don’t even make any sense:
1. Okay, people say this one all the time and it’s…violent? And not something you would ever actually say for real IRL, yes?
2. Bad advice!
3. This is…heteronormative. Among other things:
4. This is rude! Stop normalizing food theft from friends!!!
5. I don’t want to be indelicate here, but I don’t think…this caption……..is right…for this picture?
6. “Consent? Oh, we don’t do that here:”
7. Why is Adam Sandler on this?
8. WHY is Gru on this??????
9. This is…not a good standard of intelligence to set for yourself:
10. This sounds violent and cruel!
11. “And so it was foretold throughout the land–each tall girl must take a short one to be her best chosen friend:
12. “Fake” seems a little, um, pejorative:
13. Ever poke your BFF with a straw? No? Sounds like a fake friendship to me:
15. *Best friend:
What do you think of these quotes? Are there any that you actually like? Let us know in the comments!