The 16 Worst Text Messages From Straight Guys You Won’t Believe Are Real

If you have ever experienced the dubious honor of exchanging text messages with a human boy who lives on this earth, you will probably already know that it is one of the worst things that a person can experience. At its very best, you know that the true intentions of each party will be lost or diminished in some way–texting is a notoriously difficult communication medium if one is trying to get a real point across–and, at worst,’you might get a text like, uh, this:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/154756124477/solitarylioness

It is a harrowing situation, to be sure, but not one that anyone should feel obligated to experience. The solution? Stop texting boys! I mean, you can text your elderly grandfather, I guess, and your dad if you need him to pick you up from soccer practice. But other than that? Don’t do it. If, for whatever reason, you are still texting boys, these real, awful (and real awful, heh heh heh heh heh) texts will probably make you want to stop:

1. UMMMMM:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/154044906837/fitzpleasure0-his-name-is-josh-and-hes-an-office


 

2. Deep sigh:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/154037048957


 

3. Get those receipts!!!

http://envycamacho.com/post/156274787014/rum-i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed-oh-my-g-od


 

4. K:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/153486590720/eventually-waiting


 

5. NO:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/155177089454/i-had-a-home-invasion-and-messaged-all-my-matches


 

6. ….cool:

When the nice guy approach doesn't get her attention, maybe a complete 180 will…


 

7. Death by monotony:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/156688221332/sammmichhh


 

8. Same!

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/153484469227/ethreale


 

9. WHYYYY:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/156688301602/mildlypoppunk-they-went-from-100-to-0-real-quick


 

10. Doesn’t this make you feel so full of rage?

http://cervine-goddess.tumblr.com/post/155227580173/lepetitenoirmarkie-lunchboxesandchoklitcows


 

11. Is a fire not burning in your belly (and not in, like, a sex way)?

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/153007910477/cockulator


 

12. Nope!

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/130559967287


 

13. Totally:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/155019183942/littleroundmirrors


 

14. ARdsgoihgheathotffsfsfs:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/155108008007/mchljones


 

15. And, finally…the clapbacks:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/155161977122/laureals


 

16. Gorgeous:

http://straightwhiteboystexting.org/post/155037752590/smallangrynerd

What do you think of these texts? Do they burn you to your very core, as they do with me? Let us know in comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

17 Embarrassing Things Everyone Is Afraid Of

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