If food and sex are your two favorite things, combining them should be a no brainer – especially if you’ve ever read a sex tip from Cosmopolitan. Of course, there are ways to incorporate food into sex, but no matter where you’re at in exploring this, there are just some foods you should never bring into the bedroom. Getting suggestive with some fresh fruit beforehand or eating something off of an area of bae’s body? Can actually be totally hot. Getting something goopy, sugary, or sticky near your vagina? Not so much. Yes, in theory drizzling ice cream toppings all over the person you’re hooking up with sounds like a very sexy idea, but when you really think it through, it’s just a huge mess that is not sexy at all.
Incorporating food in sex seems like the go-to tip when it comes to doing something new and exciting. We see it in movies all the time, but unfortunately, apple pies and whipped cream bikinis are totally fictional. As a good rule of thumb, if it’s not specifically designed and created for sex, or it’s not already attached to someone’s body, it’s probably best not to put it in your vagina or butt. You could wind up with a weird infection, get food stuck in a place you definitely don’t want it, or just make a giant mess that ensures both of you will lose the mood. Honestly, in the moment it might feel amazing, but when you think it through, going overboard with these sexy food tips might get you into more trouble than it’s worth. Just so you know, while you mean well and it feels like a good idea, these are eight foods you should never use during sex.
Hot PeppersYou've probably heard an oral sex tip that encourages sucking on a mint or ice cube before going down. Maybe you've heard the one about spicy foods. If you have, let me strongly caution you against it. I can see where it's coming from - spicy food gives you a tingling sensation in your mouth that would enhance oral sex, but uh, not in a good way. You can burn both your private parts and bae's. De-spice your mouth (and hands) before you attempt oral sex if you truly care about this person.Source: iStock
CucumbersYeah, they're shaped like dildos, but don't use them as one. Technically, if you put a condom on them, you'll be okay, but given the potential of them breaking off inside of you, I'd steer clear. Especially when it comes to butt stuff, some sphincters can close or shut down involuntarily and then you're stuck with half a cucumber in your rectum. Sexy, right? Also, any fruits or vegetables, no matter how well you wash them, will always have traces of dirt, bacteria, or pesticides on them, so don't put cucumbers or any other form of produce inside your body.Source: iStock
Chocolate SauceWho doesn't love chocolate? Your sheets don't! Neither does your skin or hair after a while, or your genitals if bae literally doesn't lick you all the way clean. Yes, there are such things as chocolate body paint that's designed specifically for sex - that's a whole different thing. What I'm talking about is the same chocolate syrup that you drizzle on top of ice cream sundaes suddenly finding a spot on your nightstand because you like to play with it when you hook up. The thought of it sounds totally hot, but in the actual act of doing it? Not so much.Source: iStock
GrapefruitRemember that time a few years ago when the internet exploded with the "grapefruit technique?" Basically, it's when you cut a hole in the middle of a grapefruit and use it to jack someone off while going down on them. Apparently it feels amazing because allegedly the inside of a grapefruit feels similar to a vagina, but this is all before you get some sexy citric acid in your urethra, of course! Not to mention all the pulp that's bound to juice and peel off in the heat of the moment, resting either in your sheets, your hair, or bae's pubes. Source: iStock
Whipped CreamNothing that has dairy product in it is going to do nice things to your body if left on there for any length of time. That includes whipped cream, even the sugar free kind. Dairy can fester and smell awful after a while. Even getting whipped cream on the person you're having sex with is bound to be complicated because whipped cream slides off all the time and doesn't stay. Sure, it's a sexy food, but is it sexy to heavily incorporate it while having sex? Probably, yeah. That doesn't mean that it's good for you, though.Source: iStock
DonutsApparently, it's supposed to be sexy to eat a donut from around a guy's penis? Other than sounding like a lot of work, all that sugar is going to get mixed in with your guy's pubes, make biting bits off really super awkward, and honestly if you're eating around someone's dick, isn't that kind of missing the whole point about oral sex in the first place? The same thing goes for incorporating any other sugary substance into sex, but the bonus here is that this fundamentally doesn't work and we should lose the belief that this works towards anyone's advantage.Source: iStock
HoneyHoney is a sugary substance which comes with the same risks as other sweet sticky foods: it's not good for your urethra, irritates your skin, and can get tangled or stuck in your hair. Only with honey this stuff can crystalize. So, instead of having normal sugar-based clean up, you now have to deal with the rock candy-like cocoon that's suddenly appeared on a whole chunk of your hair. You can wind up sticking together in a totally unsexy way and unable to actually recover from the havoc this will inevitably wreak all over you, your partner, and everything in your bedroom. Source: iStock
PopsiclesHoly cannolis, y'all. If you're squeamish, brace yourself because while researching this, I found some guy who PUT A POPSICLE IN HIS GIRLFRIEND'S VAGINA. Apparently it melted "instantly" and it was "super hot," but for a brief moment in time, I just want you to imagine all the weird sugary technicolor discharge that you'd have to deal with during the following days. So, in terms of pleasure to this-is-going-to-be-a-regrettable-decision, this is definitely not going to be fun. Artificial sugar, dyes, and melt-y fallout... you just don't want to deal with this. I don't want to kinkshame any of you, but no. Just don't do this, okay?Source: iStock
Which foods have you tried during sex? Did any of them actually work? Let us know in the comments!
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