8 Ways To Tell Bae What You Want During Sex

Why is it that it is hardest to be honest with the people that we’re closest with? Most of us have no problem saying what we really think to a stranger who annoys us or getting super real on Twitter, yet the thought of telling anyone we’re close to what we really think can be absolutely terrifying. What’s up with that? It’s magnified even more when what you have to say isn’t the most positive thing.

Nowhere is this more true than when it comes to sexy time stuff. A lot of us would probably rather lay there like jellyfish and make appreciative moans for bae’s less-than-stellar moves than to say that we’re just not feeling what he/she’s doing. Am I right or am I right?

I get that you don’t want to hurt your SO’s feelings and/or pride. No one does. However, bae (and your body) deserve more. Remember what they say about how all good relationships are based on honesty? Talking about what you like and don’t like in the bedroom is included in that too, girlfriend. To make things feel less weird, here’s how you can tell bae what you want during sex without making it awkward AF.

Know When To Be Direct

If you're doing something that you don't feel comfortable with or that's causing you pain, you need to speak up and be direct. Bae should respect you enough to cut whatever it is out and not make a big deal of it. You don't need to apologize, either. You just need to make it clear you're not cool with it.

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Show Bae

Are you having trouble communicating what you want? Or do you find it difficult to do? Instead of chatting, show bae by doing it yourself. Not only will it make things crystal clear, bae will also find it super hot.

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Try Some Redirection

Is bae heading to an area that just doesn't feel so good? Or is he/she applying the wrong amout of pressure? Try redirecting his/her hands or tongue by encouraging him/her to do that amazing move from five minute ago. Then be very into it and keep requesting more. Hopefully it will be enough for bae to get the hint.

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Focus On The Positives

No one likes being told everything that they're doing wrong. A better way to get what you want in the bedroom without making it seem like you're insulting bae is to emphasize all of the things that drive you wild and request more of those.

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Don't Necessarily Wait Until You're In The Middle Of Things

If bae has a tendency to do the same thing that you're not into every single time, redirection might not work. You might have to have a conversation before things start heating up about what you want and don't want. When you're in the moment and try to call time, it doesn't always work out in the best way.

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Avoid Jokes

It's easy to downplay constructive criticism by making it seem like a joke, but you'll probably just end up confusing bae. If you want to say something, make it clear, otherwise your SO will have even less of a clue what you want in the bedroom.

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Make It About Both Of You

If you want to have a proper talk, tell bae you want to discuss things that will take your sexy time fun to the next level. When you're discussing what you like and don't like, try to phrase things by using *we* instead of *me* or *you.* It'll make it sound less accusatory. 

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Turn It Into A Sexy Game

Get creative with your communication! Get bae to write down all of the things he/she like during sexy time then you do the same. Make sure to leave off anything you don't like then exchange lists. Then you can start working your way down the lists.

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Do you have trouble telling bae what you want during sex? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.


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