7 Signs You’re Not Actually Ready For Your First Kiss

At this point, you probably already know that your first kiss isn’t going to be perfect. You’re going to feel nervous, you might do it badly, and you might have a bad partner, too. It’s probably going to fall more on the awkward, uncomfortable side of the kiss spectrum, rather than feeling like anything you’ve seen in the movies, regardless of if you’re ready or not. So, with this in mind, you might feel like you want to kiss someone, anyone, just to get it over with. and, if you want to do this, you totally can–if kissing, to you, feels like something you need to get done simply because you want to tell your friends you’ve done it, feel free to grab someone and get it done. (With their consent, obviously.) But it’s never good to rush anything before you’re ready, either, and your first kiss is no exception–it doesn’t have to be a picture-perfect, extra-romantic moment, but you shouldn’t go into the situation feeling unprepared and leaving it feeling worse.

Now, truthfully, if you get your first kiss a little sooner than you’re actually ready for, you’ll be fine. You’ll know when it happens that you very much were not ready, of course, but the world won’t end and you won’t implode. You’ll go on living your life as you did before, just with one uncomfortable kiss under your belt. Still, it certainly doesn’t hurt to be prepared just in case–so, check out these signs that you’re not actually ready for your first kiss right here:

There Isn't Anyone You Want To Kiss

This might seem obvious, but think about it--if you've been plotting out all the details of your first kiss, but there's a big blank space where their face should be in your imagination, this is a sign that you want to have a kiss more than you actually want to kiss someone. If this is the case, just relax a little bit and remember that you don't actually have to have your first kiss right now--and, once you meet the person that helps fill in the blank in your head, you can go ahead and do it.

Image source: Blue is the Warmest Color

Someone Has Tried To Kiss You And...It Didn't Work

So, maybe you were out with someone who you think is cute and you know you like. Things are going well, so they lean in for a kiss, and...your body tenses up. You freeze. You straight-up duck. I am no psychologist, of course, but I am going to assume that this has something to do with your subconscious telling you that you're not quite ready for your first kiss. If you like this person, just wait it out a little longer until you feel more relaxed about the idea of kissing them. You can explain that you do really like them, but you just need to wait a little longer before you kiss them--otherwise, they might think you're not into them at all--and, if they're right for you, they'll have no problem waiting.

Image source: Love And Basketball

Bae Is Pressuring You Into It

On the flipside, you might be hanging out with someone who really wants to kiss you--totally understandable! I am sure you are a very kissable person--and, when you voice your qualms, are not very respectful of that. Or, they act respectful in the moment, but keep asking you when you'll be ready, even if your answer hasn't changed and likely won't change anytime soon. If this is happening to you, cut them loose. It's a sign that they don't respect your personal boundaries now, which means that they definitely won't respect them later on down the road.

Image source: My So-Called Life

Your Friends Are Pressuring You Into It

It's also possible that all of your friends have gotten their first kiss, so they feel like you should get that done now, too. This is silly. It's nice if your friends want to help you out, and if they think that "helping you out" means "getting you a first kiss,"  but if you feel like you're getting a weird amount of outside pressure from your friends on getting your first kiss out of the way, but you don't care much one way or another, don't feel obligated to kiss the next person you find. Just explain to your friends that you're not ready for your first kiss yet, but when you are, they'll be the first ones to know. Hopefully they are good friends! If so, they'll understand.

Image source: Cruel Intentions

It's A Spin The Bottle Kiss

Spin the Bottle, if you are somehow unfamiliar, is a party game that involves placing an empty bottle (or a phone app, in some cases) in the middle of a circle of people, spinning it, and making the person who spun it kiss the person it landed on. There is the argument to be made that Spin the Bottle (or anything similar, like Seven Minutes in Heaven) is a good way to get a "practice" first kiss out of the way so you'll be ready for your "real" first kiss when that comes along, and, if you're into that idea, you should definitely go for it. But you should also keep in mind that this is going to be in front of a lot of people, and it might not be with the person you want--like, say, that random guy from your chemistry class instead of your crush--so, if you're feeling shy or know that you only want to kiss one person, you should probably pass on Spin the Bottle.

Image source: Pinterest

The Idea Of Kissing Makes You Really, Really Scared

Does the idea of kissing make you scared? Like, you feel like your heart is dropping into your stomach every time you think about it, or it makes you feel kind of nauseated, like you do right before an important exam? That's fine. You definitely don't have to do anything that terrifies you. It's sort of impossible not to be nervous before your first kiss (or any time you're hanging out with someone you have a crush on for the rest of your entire life, FYI), but it shouldn't make you so scared that you actually want to die when it's happening. I can't tell you the difference between your normal nervousness threshold vs. what might be considered actual terror for you, but if you feel what you consider to be an absurd amount of panic when you think about kissing, don't force yourself to do it.

Image source: The Notebook

You Just Don't Want To

Maybe you can't exactly put a finger on it, but you know you just don't want to kiss anyone right now. That's totally fine! Only you get to decide if and when you want to do something with your own body, and you don't need to have a specific reason for not wanting to do it. If the time doesn't feel right in one particular moment, don't feel like you have to force it. Wait it out until you're ready--chances are, you'll know when that happens.

Image source: The Lady and the Tramp

Do you think you’re ready for your first kiss? Why or why not? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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