9 Subtle Signs That You’re A Narcissist And Don’t Know It

When you think of a narcissist, you think of someone who is self-centered, right? Someone who thinks they’re great at everything, or someone who always primps in a mirror. Maybe you think about the root of the word in the first place, the Greek myth of Narcissus, a man who was so gorgeous and taken by his own beauty that he gazed at his reflection in a river one day and feel in love with it, not realizing that it was just an image, and stared at it until he died.


Okay, so maybe that’s a little extreme, but that’s where the phrase comes from, and we all have a little narcissism in us. But some people really have it a lot more, er, severely than others. For example, there’s a little thing called narcissistic personality disorder, a mental condition in which one is preoccupied with appearance, manipulation, and control to a fault. Only a doctor can properly diagnose you with that, and it’s perfectly possible to be narcissistic without having an actual disorder. Still, if your idea of what it means to be a narcissist might be a little more limiting than it should be. In fact, you might be a total narcissist and not even know it. Narcissistic behavior can have a serious effect on your ability to maintain healthy relationships and can coincide with mental disorders like depression or anxiety, so it doesn’t hurt to know if you exhibit some traits that might be causing you unneeded grief.

Check out these nine signs and find out whether there’s something a little deeper to your friends roasting you about your obsessive need to take selfies all the time.

You CAN'T Handle Criticism

You just can't. I'm not just talking criticisms of your behavior or attitude either. You'll find a way to fight with someone who freakin' edits your paper for typos and argue that yes, in fact, that semi-colon is totally appropriate there. You take any and all critiques as personal attacks, and you low key want think that nastiness or even revenge is an appropriate response.


You Have A Damn Near Impulse To Brag Or Exaggerate

Look, we all exaggerate from time to time for effect, especially when we tell a story. And sometimes, we can't help but gas ourselves up when we're proud of something we accomplished. But if you're a narcissist, you practically have a compulsion to stretch the truth and you brag (not so humbly, either) like it's a source of oxygen. You're not necessarily trying to sound self-centered...it just comes out! Also consider whether you have a tendency to one-up people. For example, if a friend is talking about a cool vacation they're going on, do you feel as if you have to chime in with a trip you're going on or have been on in the past, especially if it was a lot cooler? What if a friend said they got a good grade on an English exam; would you have to chime in with the good grade you got in history?

That '70s Show

You're Convinced That People Are Jealous Of You

You'll especially feel this way if you get the distinct impression that people dislike you, or treat you with disrespect. They can't possibly have any valid reasons for it, they're obviously just envious of you, right? Hm maybe it's not them...it's you.

Mean Girls

You Require Admiration/Approval On The Regular

It's not like you're a queen and demanding that people sing your praises. I mean, maybe you do act that way (in which case, uh, yikes), but I'm assuming you don't. Nevertheless, you truly thrive on the approval and accolades that others give you. Whether it's from friends, family, teachers, lovers, strangers who follow you on Instagram, whatever, your day is either made or broken based on whether or not you're showered with affection, to the point where you're often fishing for compliments whenever you can.


You Use People To Get What You Want, Without Really Thinking Of The Conseqeunces

You're manipulative, period. You might have a hard time accepting that, but you can't deny your tendency to see others as a means to an end before they're--for lack of a better term--disposable. That doesn't mean that you just use someone for one thing and quit them. You might, actually, keep certain people around for the long haul to satisfy your needs.

The Craft

You're Obsessed With Visions Of Power/Beauty/Success/Etc

It's natural to fantasize about your future or your goals, but when those images are a constant loop of vanity, excessive power, gluttonous praise, etc...you might just be a narcissist. When these visions turn into straight up delusions of grandeur, then you might as well call yourself Donald Trump TBH.


You Have Trouble Distinguishing Yourself From Others

You might be thinking, "WTF does that mean? How can I have trouble with that if I'm supposedly so self-centered?" Well, here's how it works: You can't help but see people in your life as extensions of yourself--your wants, your needs, your desires--as opposed to an individual whose life is not centered entirely on you. That means that you have a tendency to expect those people--a friend, a parent, a romantic partner--to always live up to your expectations. You most likely have some issues with boundaries as well that you should probably address sooner rather than later. Please, let people live their lives and make their own decisions without centering you.

My Mad Fat Diary

You Really Can't Deal With People Who Don't Sing Your Praises

When it comes to people who shower you with compliments and praise, you can't get enough of them. In fact, you lay it on thick for people like that in the hopes of getting more love; you hope to surround yourself with them. But when it comes to people who really aren't all that impressed with you, aren't taken by your flattery, or just don't give you the attention you crave? Yikes, you can become a monster. Consider the people you actively dislike or are--admittedly--harsh toward. Maybe it's a teacher, a classmate, or a member of your own family. Does your dislike stem from legitimate grievances or is it all about you?

The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

You're Charismatic...And You Know It

Hey, there's nothing inherently wrong with charisma. Being charismatic can be a really beneficial trait because it means you can get points across to others effectively and you're probably a pretty damn good story teller. But are you using this quality to take advantage of people and situations to an, er, alarming extent? Think about the ways you use this trait of yours.


Do you have a friend or family member who is a total narcissist? What’s the most frustrating thing they do? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

17 Feminist Clothes And Accessories You’ll Want To Wear Every Day

Follow Gurl!

FacebookTwitterTumblrPinterest, and Instagram

Posted in: Being Yourself
Tags: ,
  • I’m not a narcissist, but my friend’s godparent is… It gets annoying when he constantly refers to his muscles as sexy sausages.