7 Flirting Tips That Actually Make You Seem Desperate

Flirting is hard. You have to strike the perfect balance between really going for it and appearing to be cool. If you swing too hard one way, no one knows what you want, but if you go too far in the other direction, your flirting seems desperate. Some of the flirting tips out there mean to be helpful, but they can end up hurting you in the long run. Flirting the wrong way can make you come off as clingy or annoying, and before you know it, you’re a human heart eyes emoji, which is hard to recover from.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with this person knowing you’re into them – that’s exactly what you want! However, there’s a difference between that being a fun, intriguing fact, and them feeling like you want them so desperately that it’s making you do weird things. When you have a crush, all you want is for them to realize that you like them (so that they can have the epiphany that they’ve been in love with you this whole time, clearly) but really going for it at full speed or doing things that are out of character are bound to backfire sooner or later. See for yourself and see if this sounds like you. These are seven flirting tips that make anyone seem desperate.


Always Asking For His Help

The good news: asking for help is a good ice breaker and an excuse to interact with someone you typically don't talk to. However, if you're constantly asking for this person's help with homework, fixing your phone, borrowing a pen, reaching something high up, literally everything and anything - you either look like you're looking for ANY excuse to talk, you think he's your personal servant, or you literally can't help yourself and solve your own problems. That can get annoying after a while. If confidence is sexy, being extremely needy is the direct opposite of that.

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Becoming His #1 Fan On Social Media

Liking, commenting, and messaging on every single post is overwhelming. Yes, liking his posts so you come up in his notifications is a good way to get them to think of you, however small that might be, but every single time? That's a bit much. It can come off as creepy, like you're stalking him across all social media platforms. Even if it's just one, constant contact from anyone is always a little unnerving. You know you like his face, but try your best to like what you actually like, comment when you're inspired to say something, and message when you want to start a conversation. Easy peasy!

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Touching Him Constantly Whenever You Talk

We've all heard the tip that you should touch someone when you're talking to them so they know you're into them. To be honest, that's a great tip, but grabbing on to them like a barnacle isn't a good look. The key with this is to make this touch look natural, almost accidental, and open for interpretation so he can figure it out on his own. But, clipping on to someone's arm, draping yourself all over them, and finding any excuse to get next to them physically makes you seem desperate no matter what you're communicating with your words. Give the poor guy some space!

Source: iStock

Laughing At What He Says, Even If It's Not Funny

Nothing says you have no chill like losing your mind laughing at something that isn't even meant to be that funny. Sure, smile if the weird pun they just made makes you happy, but a full on belly laugh every time they attempt to be humorous is too much. We all like to be validated, but laying it on thick makes you seem like you need them to acknowledge that you're enjoying yourself. It looks showy instead of genuine. Stick with what you actually like and be encouraging if you want them to keep going, but consider dialing it back a notch with the flirty giggling.

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Getting Into What He's Into To Have Something In Common

If you have a genuine interest in what he's into, that's one thing, and that's a great thing. However, if over night you magically turn into a Yankees trivia machine or decide to take up skateboarding because you're "cool like that," it reeks of desperation. While your intentions are good, when it comes to faking it in the name of seducing someone you're attracted to, you're going to get found out eventually and it'll backfire for sure.

Instead, try asking them about it instead of pretending to have some level of expertise or interest that isn't there. If he's into you, he'll enjoy the opportunity to tell you about something he's passionate about and it's a great excuse to start a conversation. Problem solved!

Source: iStock

Being Overtly Sexual Or Suggestive

Yes, you should clue this person into the fact that you'd really like to put your face on their face. And of course, there is nothing wrong with a girl being sexual. The key, though, is to hint at it, not be overwhelming with sexual innuendo that borders on being too intense or inappropriate. Really going for it with your sexuality might make this person more uncomfortable than intrigued. Think about it: would you like a crush to say really explicit things to you? Probably not. Let the other person come to the conclusion that you should get together by themselves instead of feeling like they're giving in to some extreme advances. We all love positive attention and compliments, but no one knows how to handle this level of seduction.

Source: iStock

Doing Every Flirting Tip All At Once

Have you ever heard the phrase "a little bit goes a long way"? Well, the same goes for flirting tips. Don't try to do all of them all at once. It can actually backfire by becoming awkward, unreal, and strange. Honestly, it can come off as cartoonish - who's that sexually aggressive in real life? Winking, licking your lips, touching this person, and leaning in while playing with your hair... while asking about what they're doing this weekend? Do you see how it can seem a little off? Like everything else, pick and choose what you're going to do. Don't spend all of your tips all at once, you might wind up doing more harm than good.

Source: iStock

What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you while you were trying to flirt with someone? Have tips that actually work? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.


Posted in: Love Advice
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  • Jo

    Lame