8 Real Signs Your Insecurities Are Actually A Serious Problem

Everybody is insecure about something, because we’re all human. Insecurities are normal, meaning that it can be hard to tell when they’re indicative of a serious problem. Normally, feeling more confident about the things that bring you down happens through positive thinking, changing a few things in your daily routine, and reminding yourself it’s not the end of the world. But what if your insecurity is much bigger than that? Sometimes they can be too large to handle on your own. They become an unchangeable part of you, to the point where you don’t know what life is like without them. If that sounds familiar, it might be a sign that your insecurity is a serious issue, not just something to joke about.

You’ll know if tackling your insecurities is a serious problem when they get in the way of you living a normal life. Typically, we’re all able to function and still navigate whatever makes us feel self conscious. They might be symptoms of a larger problem at hand or could lead to something more serious, like an eating disorder, for example, so if you feel this way, it’s important you address it now before things get worse. Nobody likes feeling that grossness that comes with being insecure all the time. So, how do you know if how you’re dealing is normal and how do you know if your insecurities are actually a sign of a serious problem? Here are eight clear signs to help you figure it all out.

You Think It Reflects On Who You Are As A Person

It's one thing to be insecure about your bad skin, and it's another thing to think having bad skin makes you fundamentally disgusting as a human. Your insecurities should exist outside of who you feel yourself to be as a person, not act as an immediate reflection of who you *must* be. If you believe that you are objectively unattractive and undeserving of nice things, friendship, respect, or love because you think this thing you're insecure about is so huge and must speak to your moral character, you've got yourself a huge problem. Yes, we all have our hang ups about ourselves, but this isn't normal.

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Nothing Is Ever Good Enough For You

Your insecurities never seem to go away because your problem is always changing. They're more obsessive thoughts than something slight that needs fixing because you're never satisfied with whatever solution you've already come up with or accomplished. You always want to be skinnier, prettier, more tan, get more attention, or whatever, no matter what. It never ends and no solution, answer, or reassurance will ever be enough for you. There's always one step more that will always be out of reach that you will always obsessively reach for.

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You Go To Great Lengths To Hide What Makes You Feel Insecure

You need to get all the attention off of you and what makes you feel insecure by deflecting, camouflaging, or even bullying others. If you sense at all that people are catching on to you, you have to hit back either defensively by covering your body, applying more make up, whatever you need to do, OR offensively by being very arrogant, putting people down, or gossiping. You might even know you're being a jerk, but that doesn't stop you, even if you're a good person because the most important thing is protecting yourself from anyone finding you out.

Source: iStock

You Overcompensate In An Extreme Way

Aggressive controlling behaviors, hating change, and being wildly arrogant are all signs that you're overcompensating for your insecurities. Since the thing you're feeling is so big, you need to counter in an equally big way in order to keep the balance and to stop you from being found out for who you really are: an insecure, weak fraud. Obviously that's not true, but it can definitely feel that way if you feel that negatively about yourself. If this sounds like you, really ask yourself why you're behaving that way, because it could be due to something underneath that you refuse to acknowledge.

Source: iStock

You Bail On Plans Because Of Your Insecurities

You can't hang out with your friends because your insecurities make you feel too awful to socially interact with anyone. It's not surprising that massive insecurities can give you social anxiety, especially if you think everyone around you is going to be as obsessed with whatever you're hung up on as much as you are (spoilers: they won't be, it's in your head, but that doesn't make it feel any less real, and I'm sorry about that). Your insecurities are getting in the way of you functioning in life the way you want to, so clearly they need to be handled in a more serious way than just "getting over it." Obviously, this is bigger than that.

Source: iStock

You Need Constant Reassurance Because You Don't Trust Yourself

We all seek outside help and validation because we're all human, but if you know your personal perception can't be trusted to reflect an accurate reality, that's not normal. That awareness that your view on reality is a little warped or tainted by your insecurities should be a clear sign that something a little more serious is going on other than you feeling slightly unattractive. You don't act without sourcing an outside opinion, for whatever reason and you hardly trust yourself. That alone should be an indication that you need help.

Source: iStock

Your Insecurities Feel Like Facts

Normally, when you're insecure about something, you feel bad about the disparity between what you want to be and how you are now. But, if you perceive your feelings to be immovable, infallible facts that will always be true, no matter what instead of just feelings that can change over time, that's a sure sign of a serious problem that goes beyond you thinking you're a thighs are just a little too big. What do I mean by that? If you think "I'll always be miserable about my weight" instead of "One day this will be fine" or "I'll NEVER be pretty" instead of "I know I can make myself feel better," that's an issue.

Source: iStock

You Hardly Ever Have A Break From These Thoughts

There are no good days vs bad days with you and your insecurities. It's more of an all the time, non-stop crap parade all the time. Your insecurities aren't triggered by a certain thing that upsets you or a certain circumstance, they're with you constantly. Normally, insecurities fluctuate in how intensely we feel them if they never fully go away, but you're always at least feeling these feelings at 50 percent or more. You're never not thinking about what you're insecure of and it actually exhausts you.

Source: iStock

What are you insecure about? Do you think it’s super serious, or just a normal thing? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.


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  • I’m insecure on my weight. but luckily I lost like 5 pounds, in a healthy, non-anorexic way. This morning, I’ve noticed I dropped down to 174 pounds (whereas before, I was 177-179 pounds)