To the unacquainted–and, to be perfectly frank, the well-acquainted–there are very few things that feel more intimidating than the act of the French kiss. This, if you are in need of an official definition, is an “amorous” (ew) kiss in which the “participants’ tongues extend to touch each other’s lips or tongue” in order to “stimulate the partner’s lips, tongue and mouth, which are sensitive to the touch and induce physiological sexual arousal.”
Obviously, there is nothing in this world that might be considered sexier than this particular definition. But as you can tell from some of the key words from this description–“participants” ; “tongues” ; “extend” ; “stimulate”–there are also some complicated logistics that might lead to the experience being not-so-ideal. Specifically, there might be some things that happen that feel a little, well, gross. You might have a little too much spit. Too little spit. Some accidental biting. The good news? Most of this stuff is normal. It happens to everyone and, while it might feel awkward at the time, your partner probably won’t even notice. (And, if they do, you can just laugh it off. Or practice more!) So, check out these gross things that happen to everyone when French kissing:
1. You suddenly notice that your lips are very chapped right when you’re about to lean in for the kiss:
2. Or that you licked them too much, and now your crush is going to get one super-slimy smooch:
3. You notice that your crush has never used lip balm ever in their life, probably:
4. You start to taste your crush’s dinner:
5. Or feel it, somehow, which is worse. They could have brushed, right?
6. Your palms get super sweaty (arms heavy, mom’s spaghetti) and you don’t know where the heck you should even put them:
7. Your face gets sweaty and oily too, which is…so rude?
8. One lone strand of hair somehow ends up in your mouth. It is unclear whose hair it is, and how it got there:
9. You forget to breathe through your nose, so you have to draw back to actually breathe, and end up panting all over them:
10. When you withdraw for a second to catch your breath, a strand of spit stretches between you and your crush’s mouths. Which kind of kills the mood:
13. If your crush has a tendency to, like, poke their tongue, you might find yourself fighting with your gag reflex:
14. Ditto if you start to pay a little too much attention during the kiss and notice the ridges and bumps of your crush’s tongue:
15. Maybe you accidentally start laughing. Like, right in the middle of the kiss. Right in your crush’s face:
It’s cool! It’s just a kiss, after all.
Have any of these things happened to you? Which ones? Let us know in the comments!